7 Reasons I Do Not Shop On Black Friday

I don’t judge anyone who wants  to battle for parking spots at 4am or stand in line for the out-of-this-world deals but it’s certainly not my gig. I used to think it had something to do with my ridiculous procrastination bug I suffer from, but there’s more to it than that.

[1] I’m still in a food coma.

Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, a helluva lot of pie, a few veggies… all of that is still very present and has left me with the day-after-thanksgiving-day-bloat. I don’t think there’s anything in my closet that will fit me today, even my yoga pants are questioning my decisions from yesterday.

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[2] I can’t handle the amount of less-than-desirable humans who are out.

Masses of people with varying degrees of cleanliness, friendliness and common sense. Sure, a lot of shoppers are showered, nice and know that it’s frowned upon to shimmy their way in front of you without an invitation – it’s the other ones that keep me home on Black Friday.

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[3] I’m a homebody.

Movies, my laptop, left over pie for breakfast and lunch, hot coffee at my disposal? Yes, please.

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Me, if I looked like Blake Lively. via/ wifflegif.com

[4] Why put yourself out there when you can shop online?

Even if I wanted the door buster deals, I’m not patient enough to stand in a line that exceeds 5-6 people ahead of me, ever, let alone the day after I just gorged myself with food and beverages.

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[5] Impulse shopping is bad news bears.

Black Friday isn’t even a thing anymore, the deals start a week before and go on through Christmas… Black Friday is simply a way to get you in the door. Walmart is giving you that mixer for $2.99 with the hopes you’ll also buy that TV for $699.00. Marking and sales 101, folks. Being an impulsive person, I’d overspend like a madman.

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[6] It seems kinda dangerous.

I am confident chances of my face getting clawed or falling down and being trampled while I am switching my laundry or laying on my couch is small. Additionally, I do not enjoy feeling like I am losing my mind. I can be a dramatic person, especially early in the morning, especially when I’m surrounded by strangers who might smell, or take my personal space for their own use. So, not only could this be dangerous my by own well-being, but for anyone around me when I reach my breaking point.

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[7] I’m not a very urgent person.

I move to the beat of my own drum. I don’t like being rushed, pushed or forced to be quick so I can get what I came to the store for. I’m that person who calls to make sure the item I want is in stock on an average day, so my time is not wasted. I’m not waking my ass up early, or not going to bed so I can maybe get the item I’m hoping for. Fingers crossed! No, thank you.

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Who Are You Voting For?

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It’s a question I’ve been getting asked as election day creeps up on us.

When it comes to the two most likely candidates, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, I still have no idea who’s more evil or how their presidency will effect my family. To put it simply, I believe they both have agendas that are bigger than you or I could imagine.

An avid Bernie Sanders supporter, his sign is still in my front yard and stickers still on my vehicle. Right now, it’s easy to say that I’ve never been more proud; anyone who drives past me, or my house knows that I had nothing to do with this mess we’re in.

I wanted something different, I still do.

Breaking it down to the bare minimum, we have a Republican candidate whose ego is larger than any desire to make this country great again and we have a Democratic candidate who voted for the Iraq war and fixed the primaries.

There were times in recent months I considered voting for both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. More than both, I wanted to write in Bernie Sanders. Why not? That’s who I want as my president and it’s my vote. Unfortunately, none of the above allow me to vote with my conscience. Those options do not satisfy me. What mark on the ballot will help me sleep at night? Writing in Bernie Sanders is where my heart is, but my vote has more power somewhere else.

I am going green, Dr. Jill Stein has my vote.

Yes. I know she will not win, at this point the goal is so much bigger than the 2016 general election. Jill Stein needs only 5% of the national vote to qualify the Green Party for recognition as an official national party and receive federal funding in the 2020 election year.

Americans like to badger the two-party system and talk loud in regards to the corruption and the big, bad politicians but the same folks aren’t willing to take their blinders off. This has been an election fueled by fear. I have met few people that actually support the candidate they’re voting for – they just hate the other one so much.

While my dreams of Senator Sanders as our next president will not come true, I can to use my right to vote in a way that stands tall. I will not place my vote out of fear. I will not place my vote for the lesser of the two evils. I will not allow the media and political commercials to make me feel ashamed for doing what I feel is right.

When I walk out of the polling place and post my I Voted sticker on Instagram – I refuse to feel any shame because no vote is a wasted vote, regardless what Fox News or CNN told you.

“Casting a ballot for the lesser evil in a corrupt and failing two-party system — which only promises more of the same — is the very definition of a wasted vote. In contrast, every vote for Stein/Baraka and the Green Party is a true investment in the future. A majority of Americans are disgusted with the political farce we are enduring. They are desperate for a principled alternative to the predatory bipartisan establishment, and seek a positive path out of the two-party trap. Investing your vote in a 5-percent victory for the Green Party can make it happen.”

– Jill Stein, via press release.

12 Things That Happen After 30

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[1] Anyone: “How old are you?”

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[2] You realize you’ve accomplished approximately 1/8 of the list you started 10 years ago…of the things you’d do before 30.

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[3] Secretly you hope 20-somethings at the bar either a.) think you’re 28 or b.) think you’re the most badass 30-something they’ve ever met.

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[4] Plans are made roughly three hours earlier than in your younger days.

 Well, ideally I’d like to be in my pajamas on the couch by 9:30 – so, dinner at 6:30?

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[5] You become much more accepting of your flaws, maybe because you’ve reached the perfect level of don’t-give-a-shits or, maybe you’re lucky and embrace them. Either way, this is a win for us 30-somethings.

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[6] You take care of your body, before it’s sick. No. Not like working out… 

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[7] A night of excessive cocktails is rarely rewarded with chipper mornings and brunch. 

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[8] Friends start pointing out stray grey hairs that you’ve been wondering exist for the last 5 years.

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[9] Your social media has become a plethora of pets and babies… and you like it.

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[10] Your body has chosen its desired shape and weight, if you would like something different – good luck.

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[11] The excitement level for a new lawn mower <insert any major appliance here> exceeds levels you didn’t know were possible in your 20s.

 

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[12] You read and contribute reviews. Restaurants, mattresses, curtains, daycares, cars, pens, tables, music, hotels, dogs, movies… anything.

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…Cheers to your 30’s.

RIP Baby Logan

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Not often do I use Properly Ridiculous for much more than to rant, rave and shove my opinions on everyone. Today, I am putting that aside and using this platform in an effort to help a family who recently lost their son, Logan.

I went to middle school and high school with both of Logan’s parents, and while we do not have a close relationship today – my heart is breaking for them. A blended family, both mom and dad having children from previous relationships – you have to believe that little Logan was the final piece that tied them all together.

Logan was only three months old when he passed away in his sleep during his afternoon nap, as a result of SIDS.

When I told my husband the sad news, conversationally he asked me if I thought it would be harder to lose a child that young, or after years and years have flown by. I know how it feels to grow a child in my body and lay eyes on him for the first time and the answer was easy – I think the sorrow and pain has to be so great, seemingly unbearable, regardless of age.

I do not know how they are getting by emotionally or financially so I am simply asking you to take this chance to eliminate even a small amount of stress this family is going through.

If you’re not able to contribute financially, all I ask is that you keep them in your thoughts and if you have children, give them an extra hug tonight.

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CLICK TO DONATE

10 Things We All Thought During The Last Presidential Debate

Unless you’re 100% pro Donald Trump or 100% pro Hillary Clinton, you more than likely had at least a few of these thoughts while trying to stomach the final Presidential Debate.

[1] Is this real life?

@_theblessedone

A photo posted by AMERICA (@americadoingthings) on

[2] First, Bigly is not a word. Second, you told the American people that we can expect, ‘very much better trade deals with Mexico.’ Is English your second language?  Were you even born here?

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[3] Chris Wallace, I know he’s from Fox News but this thank you, sir moment proved it.

[4] It’s tough, can you do it?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A video posted by buzzfeednews (@buzzfeednews) on

[5]”We’ve never had a foreign government trying to interfere in our election.” -Hillary

American People: I guess that’s a domestic thing.

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Bye, Bye Bernie!                                  via/giphy.com

[6] Why didn’t you say it Hillary? We were all waiting…

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[7] Can someone in the Trump camp let Donald know it’s more of a hard CH – less G. CHina… not, ‘Gina?

[8] Moderator: I’m getting this over with in four minutes, two a piece.

Donald, did ya grab the nine women by the….?

And Hillary, Donald thinks your husband is despicable.

Ready, Go! 

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[9] Donald Trump: Bernie Sanders said you have bad judgment. I agree.

Hillary Clinton: … as he has campaigned for me around the country, stating that you are the most dangerous person to run for president in the modern history of America. I think he’s right.

So, Bernie Sanders (still) has the best judgement?

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[10] And here we are, folks. 

Just fuck me up fam. @mybestiesays

A photo posted by My Therapist Says… (@mytherapistsays) on