Bad News Bears

I fully understand that the National Football League is a business. It revolves around money – just like the rest of the world.

With that being said, I cannot believe Jared Allen signed with the Chicago Bears.

The Chicago Bears?! Really, Jared?! C’mon…I can’t buy a Bears jersey!

Jared Allen signing a 4 year deal with the Chicago Bears is comparative to if my husband cheated on me with my trashy cousin (I do not have any trashy cousins…but, if I did).

I knew he was a free agent. I knew the chances of Him staying a Minnesota Viking were slim to none – but, I was not prepared for this. There was zero chit chat about Him being in contact with the Chicago Bears. None. I don’t like unexpected news – especially so early in the morning; especially when its news that I don’t like.

Ahhh, what a beauuuutiful day – already Wednesday…it’s going to be a great……….wait………..what?


Jared Allen is a Chicago Bear. If not the entire day, at minimum my morning & early afternoon are shot.

I feel like he just broke up with me; He gave me the – It’s not you it’s me speech & in this hypothetical breakup we are trying to work out, I agreed. It’s Him.

This was us - when we were happy.
This was us – when we were happy.

Ideally, He would have gone to Seattle – I was prepared for that. I was ready to purchase a Seattle Seahawks Jared Allen jersey. I recently stomached watching three former Minnesota Vikings get super bowl rings there; I would have understood.

Jared…I thought you wanted a Championship?

The Chicago Bears made a good move (for their organization). Replacing Julius Peppers with Jared Allen – it makes sense. That’s the only positive thing I will say. It’s not positive for me – because I will never cheer for the Bears.


The sad reality is this. I can no longer be a fan of Jared Allen – the football player.

There will always be a special place in my heart for Jared Allen – the person. I hope Chicago Bears Fans appreciate the talent they just received & that He is treated kind. I wish nothing but the best (except wins) for my favorite former favorite football player.

Who is going to replace him? Who is going to be my favorite? …I just don’t know. 😦

For now, I will commit to saying that my favorite Minnesota Viking is Mike Zimmer.

Footnote: Originally, I planned on writing an open letter. But, I don’t currently feel like speaking to Him. If any of you see or converse with Mr. Allen, please mention that I’ll be okay.

14 thoughts on “Bad News Bears

    1. I have some pictures of Jared Allen up in my office at work…(No, not in a frame – I don’t pretend to actually have a relationship with him) – but I decided that after tomorrow (Draaaffftt Daayyy, who’s excited?!) they need to come down. Tomorrow it becomes real…Jared is a Bear.

      Excuse me…I need to go sob in my car for my 30 minute lunch break…


      1. Dang him for betraying us. I just did a tweet about being excited for the draft for the sole purpose (other than seeing what bad draft picks the Vikings make) of never hearing the name Johnny Manziel ever again. Can he just go undrafted and fade into obscurity?


      2. That would be so lovely…But, I hate to tell you that I do not think that is going to happen. A team will scoop him up & I have a bad feeling about him.(Him – not his playing ability)..Not as bad as I feel about having to watch Jared in a Bears jersey…but a bad feeling nonetheless.


      3. The worst case scenario is that we actually get Manziel. Then we will definitely have to deal with him. If so, you can blame me. Actually you can blame me anyways. Just don’t credit me if they turn out to have a great season.


      4. Glad we don’t have to worry about that. So we got one of the “name” quarterbacks. I’m hoping he puts a little pressure on the Cassel or Ponder or whoever will be starting so we can get some production out of our QB. I just don’t think CP will ever amount to anything and we only have a few more years of AP being the best running back in the NFL, so hopefully we don’t waste his last few years.



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