I’m A Mom

I was driving down the road last week & got behind a minivan that had a bumper sticker that said, “Condoms Prevent Minivans”… Hilarious, right?? Instantly, I wanted to be friends with that person. In case you’re wondering…I proudly drive a minivan; after all…I’M A MOM.

  • Nobody can fold a shirt the way I can.
  • I’ve lost my ability to stay awake past 10:30PM comfortably.
  • My idea of, “date-night” consists of stand-up comedy…on the TV with take-out.
  • Poo, vomit & other bodily fluids don’t gross me out.
  • I prefer my house to anywhere else.
  • I’m often heard saying words like, ‘Shhhhiiioot’& ‘Fuuuucdge’ when put into predicaments.
  • My ability to speak in code is pretty impressive.
  • I don’t remember the last long phone conversation I had that wasn’t regarding a bill or an appointment.
  • 2 glasses of wine & you can call me tipsy. (Who am I kidding? One…)
  • I’ve dropped over $50 on a (singular) teddy-bear.
  • “Because… I said so” is a regular, everyday statement.
  • I’m very sleepy.
  • Running an errand by myself makes me feel young again.
  • I do homework.
  • I’m the dishwasher.
  • I’m the go-to person in my house when something is lost.
  • I’m often forced to decide to delete my show or Pokemon when the DVR gets filled.
  • I “silly-dance” just to hear perfect laughter.
  • My heart travels outside of my body.
  • I’m a Teacher, Accountant, Manager & Chef.
  • I turn down my music down when I get to a stop light.
  • I’ve pretended to be a dinosaur, a train, a horse & a tickle monster.
  • If I wake in the middle of the night, I get up – groggy & make sure everyone is still breathing.
  • I’m excited to buy things that are not for myself.
  • I’m a protector.
  • My house is not spotless, but that’s just fine.
  • I kiss open wounds.
  • Other beings happiness comes before my own.
  • I get paid with love.




4 thoughts on “I’m A Mom

  1. Such a touching piece and a very humble glimpse into your role as a superhero that even Marvel and DC Comics couldn’t come up with. To be such a positive role model (among several other things to your son) is not only giving him an incredible gift, but giving a gift to all of the lives that he touches as well. Keep up the awesomeness, Jen! ❤



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