I know it’s never clever to make assumptions – but I don’t think many ladies play Call of Duty. I said ladies, because…I’m talking about women who hold steady jobs & wear high heels.
I like it.
I mean, I don’t play often…but I have my days.
Call of Duty… If I looked like Megan Fox.
Okay. That might be a stretch; realistically… here’s now the husband & I play Call of Duty.
…If I looked like Megan Fox.
First, I need to get comfortable.
I don’t want anything getting in the way of my concentration… like my hair being pulled back too tight, or a bra – pajama time.
The hubs is in charge of getting it all set up… I’m not into the specifics. I just want to shoot people with the weapon of my choice, throw grenades, set little traps & shank “the bad guys”.
At the starting point, I dart off the line secretly hoping there is another (or a few) other girls playing that are as inattentive as myself. I don’t try to be inattentive.
It’s just not second nature for me toss grenades and crouch down in a swift movement.
Oh shit… How do I do that?!
This obviously makes me an easy target; I die a few more times in a row because I’m still attempting to re-teach myself the buttons on my “gun”. I have to remind myself that there is no way in hell I play this (or any game) as much as the people on the other end of my online connection. I have other… real life things to tend to on a daily basis.
Sidenote: I refuse to listen to anyone using their microphone. I can’t take it.
I finally see someone from the opposing team that doesn’t see me.
My language gets kinda fancy (rude) when I play Call of Duty… I think it just comes with the territory. I don’t typically watch my mouth (I bet you thought I was going to say I don’t typically swear) but, it gets extra fancy on COD nights.
…Back to this guy I see…
…Before I logically think it out I just start spraying bullets somewhere in his general area – he sees me & I die again.
…I’m trying my best goddammit.
This is another reason I don’t listen to people on their microphone. No…it’s not only because 99% of them sound like completely uneducated morons playing out of their parent’s house.
It also makes me nervous when people start calling out how terrible I am. I mean…Is it really that serious? Give me a break.
At this point…there’s probably 4 minutes left & I realize that I need to get it together before I ruin these peoples nights by being the only person who didn’t pull their weight. I start running around…on a mission.
Oh, Hey…Hi…I’m right here in the middle of the open area – Shoot me!
or, blow me up…that’s cool too…
The time is running low and as luck would have it…
I get the final kill.
Megan Fox aside… the best thing about Call of Duty is that you never officially die.
… I wonder if Megan Fox plays Call of Duty. I bet she does.