I have not done any sort of real research on this, but it’s safe to say, a solid 95% of my poor decisions have been made while I was drinking alcohol.
I’m a smart, logical person…when I’m sober. Get a few drinks in me, as much as I hate to admit it – I can be a real bitch.
[That’s me…when I’m drunk – ask my husband if you’d like]
While being bitchy certainly isn’t the end of the world, it doesn’t stop there. You never really know what you’re going to get. After tipping a few drinks back, I can’t promise I won’t say something pretty crazy – but don’t ask me about it the next day… I might not remember.
Last Saturday I drank adult beverages like I was 21. I woke up Sunday with little memory of the night before & an aching body.
My right thigh is one enormous bruise; I have 4 gashes on my back, 2 bumps on my head, a scuffed up elbow & a scraped knee… the kicker? I don’t remember any of it happening. My husband expressed to me that he’s pretty certain I knocked myself unconscious one of the times I took myself out – by simply attempting to maneuver around my house after getting home from the bar.
My evening probably went something like this… [in this order]:
Even if it’s once in a while, this is not what 30 year olds do.
The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate. –Douglas Engelbart
No, I am not an alcoholic, I wouldn’t even say that I have a drinking problem. What I do have is a problem with the how I behave when I go overboard; to rectify that, I am making myself a promise that I’ll never drink again.
Maybe it seems extreme; perhaps you think I am a raging alcoholic…
All jokes aside…
What matters is knowing & having confidence that I will never put the burden of regret onto myself over something as unimportant as alcohol, ever again. I do not need a glass of wine to relax after work. I do not need a beer because I’m watching sports on TV. I do not need Bacardi to have a good time with my friends.
What I do need is stability for myself, my son & my husband every day of the year – no questions asked. What I do need is to be a role model for my son.
I’ve made many strides over the last few years, professionally & personally and I’m chalking this up to one more stride in the correct direction. While I may be giving up alcohol, I’m gaining a lot more.
I enjoy being a smart, logical person.