Given The Chance, This Is What I’d Say….

The odds of me running into any of these celebrities is pretty slim, but should the opportunity present itself… I will be prepared.

[maybe I’ll just tweet them]

Jennifer Lawrence: I think my husband would leave me for you … & I wouldn’t really blame him.

[via: giphy.com]

Gavin Degraw: I’m sorry I talked so much shit about you…until I saw you live 5 years later & fell in love with you.

Kris Jenner: You, ma’am have raised yourself some very beautiful cash crops.

giphy

Bruce Jenner: If nothing else, I hope you’re making your ex-wife super uncomfortable […& that you’re happy].

John Legend: I don’t care how famous and beautiful your voice is…it’s terrible to tell a girl she looks beautiful while she’s crying.

giphy (1)

Big Sean: You’ve successfully made me a white girl who says, “chuuu” instead of you. 

Katy Perry: I named my cat after you… after she died you actually started going downhill – I’m not saying it’s related or anything.

Miley Cyrus: Do your thing, girl.

[via: themetapicture.com]
Daniel Ratcliffe: Watching you rap on Fallon tonight, I finally saw you as Daniel not Harry Potter – you should rap more often.

Dakota Johnson: Bitch, you’re brave… people need to give you more credit.  

[via: giphy]
What did you keep?

giphy (4)
A Flogger.

Ed Sheeran: My husband get’s mad when he sees you & realizes Ellie Goulding was attracted to you at some point, but I get it…

[via: funny-pictures.picphotos.net]

Taylor Hanson: I thought I was going to marry you, turns out you had like 20 planned kids; it would have never worked out…but have fun with that.

Justin Bieber: I am going to watch your Roast tonight on Comedy Central and probably end up liking you a whole lot more afterwards; the odds are in your favor.

[via: cc.com]

Matthew McConaughey: Your Lincoln commercials make me want to puke, all right?

Lil Wayne: I ran around a bar once and told everyone you were the modern day Dr. Seuss… & I still believe it.

6 thoughts on “Given The Chance, This Is What I’d Say….

  1. HAHA Good ones, for sure! Daniel rapping the alphabet was awesome! I’ve seen a few hundred times, as have my kids. Emma Stone’s lip sync was fantastic, too. I’m curious about Justin’s roast tonight. There are jokes galore…

    Liked by 1 person

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