Dear Britt McHenry,
Getting your car towed while you’re at dinner (possibly unjustifiably) has to be frustrating; that’d certainly make me unhappy, too. Obviously, that disgusting place was not up to the standards that you, someone who is on television and news, are used to.
Gosh, what a stressful situation.
You’ve graced us ESPN viewers with your pretty face & perfect teeth and for that [you believe] we all owe you something. I’m sure if that attendant knew who you were, she’d have made it a more pleasant experience for you. Speaking of that attendant, she must have been the one who actually towed your car…right? The nerve. I hope your mean-hearted, terrible comments you threw at her have made a difference in her life.
When you looked up at the security camera, I saw the bitch from high school that I hated, the girl who walked around the halls superior to the rest of us. Your sidekick, laughing in the background of the video supported the quick judgment I made.
Enjoy your week off from work; get a pedicure and relax, Princess.