When my husband asked if I wanted to watch the Billboard Music Awards, a twinkle may have showed up in my eyeball. It’s been a long while since I’ve enjoyed 3 hours of an awards show. When all was said and done, and we fast forwarded past the hour and 42 minutes of commercials – I realized there were probably many people who did much more productive things with their Sunday evening; I’ll give you people the low-down.
1.) My husband apologized every time Jennifer Lopez was on our television screen. Her dress was beautifully see-through.
I almost felt the need to apologize back to him because, well, damn Jlo – you look good. How the hello was their a set of twins inside that stomach? I had ONE kid grow inside mine eight years ago & it still shows loud and clear.
Not only was she beautifully naked, she also was fun to watch as she judged the choreography to Fallout Boy’s, Uma Thurman performance. Then, when Megan Trainor walked past to accept an award, it wasn’t difficult to catch her pan up and down that bass.
Judgey-Mcjudgerpats Lopez made the Billboard Music Awards kind of awesome.
2.) Harry Styles of One Direction… grabbed another band members junk after a win. I did not make this up. I am not a 1D fan, therefore I don’t know who he got a handful of – but watch for yourself.
I’m sure it was just good ol’ playful fun…I mean, a lot of guys grab each other’s balls, right?
3.) Britney Spears and Iggy Azalea performed, “Pretty Girls” & when all was said and done, I was just really happy to see Britney looking like Britney & dancing her booty off.
Remember when she performed at the MTV Video Awards and she was falling all over the place? This was at least 8 times better than that. Go Britney.
4.) Taylor Swift. Duh. How does she manage to take over everything?
Hey Tay, We don’t have time to wait for you to walk too far when accepting awards tonight – you’re okay with sitting front & center, right?
She seems to be everybody’s best friend, every single one of her acceptance speeches got more and more perfect as they kept coming & I think my husband found her attractive for the first time ever…
5.) Can we just stop with Kanye already? It was super nice of his sister-in-laws to introduce and let everyone know that he’s now a “doctor”…but I seriously have to believe that not many people would actually call him Doctor West. At some point can we just cease these shenanigans? Who enjoyed his performance?
I watched the unedited version online & to be honest: I preferred the silent version more. He was obviously upset with the lighting also, because he started jumping around like a lunatic and all I kept hearing in my head while the TV was mute was:
I’M OVER HERE! LOOK AT ME! ALLL DAYYYY!”
Terrible way to close out the show ya moron.