Perks For Lady Parts

Feminism seems to be the new big deal and I’m pretty proud to be a lady nowadays…


As women, sure, we can all pump our fists and declare no-bra-day as some kind of movement. We can shout from deep within us for equal pay and anything else that’s apparently unfair.


I’m going to review some perks that get handed down to us for having lady parts. There are plenty of things women get to take advantage of simply for being a woman. There might not be any solid research done on any of these, but…

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We’ll give you a warning and let you be on your way ma’am…

When the red and blue lights start flashing in the rearview mirror – there’s a damn good chance, as a lady – if you’re not committing a serious, life-altering crime – you’re not getting a ticket. Every woman has a few tricks up her sleeve & while they may not work every single time, more often than not, some tears and a few bats of the eyelashes or a warm heartfelt apology can do wonders. If a man were to do those things?

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The officer would probably tack on an additional citation just for being a puss pansy.

Can I buy you a drink?

Being broke will never stop a female from being able to go out to a bar and enjoy a night out with adult beverages. There is always at least one guy at the establishment of choice, just waiting to buy you a drink or two. Thankfully, we don’t even need to rely on that, because we get these things called, “Ladies Night”. FREE DRINKS.

Guys? Do you get anything like that?

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The chance of a gal getting socked in the face [or anywhere else] is significantly lower than it is for guys. Our mouths can spit out some real offensive shit & as long as we’re in the company of, at the bare minimum, decent human beings – odds are we’re not getting hit.

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Sometimes, all you need is a good cry.


Stressed out? 

Overly Tired? 

Hungry Hangry? 


This list could go on and on – It’s more socially acceptable for a woman to shed some tears over, well, anything. Guys may not have the desire to blubber as often, but should the opportunity present itself they have to make sure it’s safe before they begin.


Is that a ______ in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

It’s nothing more than human nature to get aroused here and there. Dames can get hot and bothered and not a soul knows about it. Go about our day, say hello to the nice grandma walking down the street with her poodle – secret is safe. There isn’t even a word that fully defines the pity I feel for easily excitable men.


How embarrassing…

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb. -Yul Brynner

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