It’s not you, it’s me. Is that how these things are supposed to start? Unfortunately, for me, I’ve come to the rotten realization that it’s impossible to rid you from my life forever. You’ll always find a way to creep into my world and consume me with your nothingness.
Am I doing something to make you think I like you?! How long is it physically possible to sit and stare at a blinking cursor before you go completely bat-shit crazy? These are real questions, Writer’s Block… the least you can do is tell me, so I can try to stay sane as long as possible.
Are you aware of the shit you do to me? Do you have any idea? To avoid going nuts, I attempt to occupy myself by surfing the web aimlessly; it seems so normal but before I know it I’m analyzing my friend’s, ex-husband’s, new wife’s Facebook page. Why?! You turn me into some weird creep and I don’t like who I become when you’re around.
How it’s even possible for nothing, like you, to simply erase every amazing idea I’ve been repeating obsessively for hours?
Well, maybe you should have written them down…
Now I’m talking for you. You are officially driving me effing bonkers. I can’t write a single sentence for my book, but I can create inner-dialogue for nothing.
That’s how I feel right now; for some reason actual words escaped me – weird, right? I hate it when that happens. Listen, I promise if you go away and let a girl get some work done, I will stop putting words in your made up, hypothetical mouth. Deal?
…Please don’t make me beg.
I will seriously take two [insert any expletive of your choice] days……..
I will give you my SOUL if you’ll allow me to finish National Novel Writing Month with something that at least… sorta-kinda resembles a novel of sorts. That’s super vague and totally in your favor, not to mention my soul is pretty great. Whatever you want, Writer’s Block.
The ball is in your court [like it always fucking is…].
Writers Digest: The Writing Prompt Boot Camp: Day One
Breaking Up With Writer’s Block