I Want Answers, Yesterday.

One of my favorite past times is overthinking. Who, what, why… story of my life. I’m confident you also have come up with  some logical questions that deserve answers. For now, I’ll go ahead and throw these out there…

If anyone has the answers, I’m all ears.

  • Why are the birds angry? They surely do look the part… but then we have bad piggies. I’d like some more details on their mental state.
    • Are we throwing them through things to help or because they’re being over dramatic?
    • Can we use this in our daily lives? Angry and bad people get tossed through buildings?

 Angry Bird.gif

  • Why does McDonald’s have to be so cheap (not in the good way)? They raise prices and take a slice of cheese away? Why?
  • What’s with the term, Slipping into something more comfortable? Let’s be honest, that shit is not even a little bit comfortable. I’m going to slip into something that creeps up my ass and makes me feel overly exposed is realistic.
  • Who the fuck looked at a lobster and said… Yum. I am going to eat that thing?


  • Are google suggestions meant to be helpful or humorous?
  • Why is it so hard to find clothes that fit baby bearing hips and a flat chest? Big hips & small boobs happen… I’m proof. Make some God damn clothes that accommodates me.
  •  Is Sarah Palin a real human or something the Republican party created to make the rest of them seem less crazy?

sarah palin.gif

  • Why are there erectile dysfunction commercials on during sporting events? People watch that shit with their kids…and not everyone is ready to explain erectile dysfunction to their offsprings.
  • Girls who draw their eyebrows on: do you sleep with them when you have company?
    • Do you shave them, wax them…or what?
    • Are there stencils involved?


  • What is the appropriate balance of being an ass, and being an ass-kisser?
  • When people run outside in the rain or freezing cold, do they know everyone I am secretly judging their motivated asses?
    • Why can’t you just take a day off, enjoy some Netflix or jumping jacks inside the house?
  • How many people take into consideration why exactly, Burger King is able to provide you a million nuggets for under $2.00? (I do know that it should be more…)
  • Why do so many people gain pleasure from totally-random-doesn’t-matter-how-you-answer Facebook Quizzes?


  • At what point did I, and everyone else, forget Jay Leno still exists?
  • Did Steven Avery kill Theresa?
    • What’s with finding a key on the 7th day of searching?
    • What kind of sick fuck douses a cat in gas and watches it burn?
  • Does anyone flush a public toilet with their hand rather than their foot?
    • Are these the same people who don’t wash their hands?
  • How are Pam & Jim doing? I miss them.


  • Why do people on Facebook think a quote, paired with a Minion picture is the shit?
  • Is there a feeling equivalent to taking a bra off, for guys?

I need these answers as soon as possible. 

9 thoughts on “I Want Answers, Yesterday.

  1. Right there with you with Jim and Pam, I think of their wedding every time that Chris Brown song is heard (is that too much missing them maybe?) And also with the erectile disfunction commercials during sports. Watching the World Series with the family now turns into sex 101 or quick changing of the channel…


  2. So much confusion and frustration here..:) I think you need a glass of wine and a massage in an island somewhere. Of course the questions will still be there but you might feel better about them…:(

    Liked by 1 person


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