The Power of Resting Bitch Face


I look like a bitch, it’s always been that way. I’ve not only accepted it, I’m well aware of the perks that come with it.

Circa 1987: I’m the blonde with the bitch face.

I’m less likely to be approached by employees who count on face-to-face commission money, especially kiosk employees – who are the worst. I do not need to create fake dialogue into my phone, while praying it doesn’t ring, to avoid these people. I’m already unapproachable and with little effort I can turn unapproachable into don’t you fucking dare talk to me.

Before & After I’m Told To Smile (#1)

Awkward strangers are less likely to sit next to me and other ladies who sport this look. It’s not personal, awkward strangers, I’m sure you are very nice people – but I don’t want talk about your personal life or discuss mine. Me, and my resting bitch face club members, probably deal with this sort of thing far less than pleasant looking, smile-bearing women. Even when an opportunity presents itself, and I want to appear inviting and welcoming… my face screams possibly-abrasive. 

Before and After: “Smile, Jen!” (#2)

Passive-aggressive shenanigans, I kill that shit. Resting Bitch Face makes it simple to let someone, or everyone, know that you’re not particularly keen on something – without being actually aggressive. Is she mad? Is she sad? It’s unclear – but I know she’s not real happy about it.

It’s really too bad we can’t teach our fellow ladies who are not blessed with such a face the technique of pairing the words…

I mean, I guess that’s fine… 

with a face that silently screams: If we end up doing whatever I just said is fine – there will be consequences. 

I do not have any desire to smile more, as many of you suggest on the regular or do I think there’s a problem. Let’s not get it twisted ladies and gentlemen: I like my bitchy face and I bet most of my catty faced posse does too.

2 thoughts on “The Power of Resting Bitch Face

  1. So I’m guessing you enjoy this persona. It’s sort of your MO how people view you and how you choose to be perceived…:) Thats cool, but you have a great smile, which I’m sure you use to your advantage at times. Maybe one day you’ll useful more often…:) Until then….

    Liked by 1 person


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