“Um, Ma’am…can I see you in my office for a second?”
I had never been called into the daycare office before and I was concerned something serious had happened. Low and behold, it was nothing more than a stern talking to about my five year old son walking around letting all the other children know what he thought about a toy.
This firetruck is fucking ridiculous.
I stifled my inappropriate laughter and tried my best to see the seriousness of the situation. In the meantime, I found myself way more impressed that he used the word ridiculous than I was mad that he said the godforsaken F-word.
The pairing of the two however, was no surprise. The two word combination comes out of my mouth, on the daily.
Some parents might start making a conscience effort to watch their language around their child’s developing brain – I chose to simply sit down and have a conversation with my five year old.
There are Grownup Words and there are Kid Words.
Fuck, and all the variations of it… are grown up words and finished up the talk by providing him some kid-friendly alternatives. I also explained that not all grown ups use such language… just the passionate ones.
Just kidding… I did not tell him the passionate part, but I do believe it.
I continued to swear like a sailor for the next four years and my now nine-year-old son still thinks Crap is a swear word. I’m winning this thing called parenting. The simplicity behind it is that I can say whatever I want (within responsible reason), whenever I want and he cannot.
My son is not allowed to drink beer, which he witnesses me do. He’s aware the he is not allowed behind the wheel – yet sees me drive on the daily. If he stumbles out of bed and sees me awake past 2am, guess what, he doesn’t get to ask me why I’m allowed to do it and he’s not. If I want to drink 3 sodas in one day – in front of my child – he still knows he doesn’t get to do that. The best part, is not having to finish my fucking dinner.
That is the difference between being an adult and being a child. Call it a perk for getting through childhood if you will. Parents who cuss, believe it or not, can raise some pretty well-rounded offsprings. As passionately as I speak, I’m equally passionate about being a parent and making sure he grows up to be a functioning member of society…
…which is the %@$#^*! goal.