Awkward.

 

How different growing up would have been had I known that awkward could be an asset. More often than not I was the kid standing in a group, pretending to know what’s going on.

I was, and still am, an overly-excessively-insanely-analytical person; it’s easy to get wrapped up in one particular moment while life goes on around you. Quickly, the state of mind changes when you wake up from your thoughts and see one, two or three people waiting impatiently for a reaction to something you 100% missed while off in analytical-la-la land.

The overthinking shenanigans is where I believe the awkward roots planted themselves deep within me.

There is a logical explanation as to why my father’s mantle of pictures include my younger sister’s tennis photo, my brother’s football picture, my older sister’s cheerleading picture… and my prom picture.

I tried lots of sports, but as soon as they made me run, which was always before the team photos, I’d quit. I joined track thinking I could just do the shot-put. I joined swimming… and they still made me run. Had I put forth the effort I probably could have been at least decent at something. Growing up awkward I was consumed by opinions of others. What happens when the clumsy girl totally fucks it all up?

So, instead of trying I silently willed and chanted:

please don’t come to me

please don’t come to me

please don’t come to me

please don’t come to me

please don’t come to me

…Whenever there was a chance I’d have to participate.

Don’t get me started about running a mile in gym class, or the standardized physical fitness testing. Yes, I did awkwardly hang on the pull-up bar and climbing rope and no, I did not even try.

mindy
Proof that Mindy Kahling is my awkward soul sister.

Everyone goes through an awkward stage (or three) and others just have awkward woven into their genes. The perks of those come later in life, after you’ve had the chance to outgrow the inner thoughts that lead you to believe every person is harshly critical and making note of every last flaw.

I learned while trying to figure out adulthood that inappropriate wit and quick comebacks have the power to turn awkward from weird to likable. I have grown into this mess of weird thoughts and klutzy movements. The best part is that my decent amount of awkward tendencies no longer make me uncomfortable. I want to over analyze. I want to stare at people all weird and wonder how I can incorporate them into a story. Lacking a filter, unapologetically, is something I’d like to stick around well into my 90’s.

I’ve been scribbling down and compiling my most embarrassing, outlandish awkward memories and realized my school days, and even my thirty-somethings are a giant compilation of, That-Awkward-Moment-When memes.

Stories for days.

book cover
Awkward: A Memoir – Coming Soon

 

 

 

 

Daily Post Prompt: Toot Your Horn: Most of us are excellent at being self-deprecating, and are not so good at the opposite. Tell us your favorite thing about yourself.

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