For, after all, you do grow up, you do outgrow your ideals, which turn to dust and ashes, which are shattered into fragments; and if you have no other life, you just have to build one up out of these fragments.
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Age 3: Man, they switched my seat to forward facing – Watch out world, I’m growing up!
Age 5: School? They’ll teach me how to be a grown-up – after snack and a nap.
Age 7: I’m allowed to sleep over at a friend’s house – away from home? Growing up in great!
Age 9: I heard that a sign of becoming a grown up is knowing everything – which I do. Operation grow-up is moving along nicely.
Age 11: My parents allow me to watch PG-13 movies – so you could say I’m pretty grown up for my age, one might suggest I’m ahead of the game.
Age 13: My life is really hard and no one understands the issues I’m faced with on the regular. Leave me alone, I’m a teenager so, yeah… I’m basically a grown adult at this point.
Age 15: My mom told me to look for a job and now I have my own money – watch out, grown-ups -the world is mine!
Age 17: I guess I should start figuring out what I want to do when I grow up.
Age 19: That’s right; I got my own place and had pizza for dinner – fourth time this week. I’m killin’ this thing called growing up.
Age 21: I can now do everything the rest of you adults do – but I’m still not sure what the hell I’m doing with my life. Is this what growing up is? Is this it now? Do I stop looking forward to my birthday?
Age 23: I need to get married and have kids – I’m getting old! Should I know what direction my life is going in? Is it normal that I’m still borrowing money from my dad?
Age 25: I’m not spending my Friday night at that place – that’s where all the young college kids go. I’ve outgrown that crowd. I’m so mature.
Age 27: Who the hell can I call to bitch? I did not sign up for these bills and responsibility. I’ll be thirty soon – a real grown-up.
Age 29: I thought I would feel old by now.
Age 31: I let my kid sit in the front seat while I relax in the back, I still eat pizza three times a week and still have no clue what I’ll be doing in five years. F*** growing up.
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
— Bill Watterson