Waitress Nightmares

No, not the ones that provoke raw emotion while you’re trying to do your job in the real world, the nightmares that come to you while slumbering. I want to know why, as a waitress, I can never just have waitress dreamsthe kind that make me feel good. Never once have I woken up, rested, excited to tell someone about waiting on Miley Cyrus and her leaving me a $500 tip. No. They are always nightmares, reoccurring ones at that.

The I Got Lost Nightmare

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How I feel during this one…

Sometimes it’s the actual place I work but more often, I have never seen the building in my life. Either way, they always consist of me running around frantically trying to figure out where the hell I’m supposed to deliver the damn cheese curds.

These people are hungry, clearly that’s why they ordered an appetizer – WHERE THE $%#@ ARE THEY?!

Most of my current co-workers were in the most recent lost nightmare but we were working in some sort of multi-level adult arcade, and we traded in our black button-ups and neck ties for more risque attire. It had potential to be an actual dream, and not awful until I was running up and down stairs trying to find my section in 6-inch heels.

The I Can’t Remember Shit Nightmare

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You take an order, you write it down, and when you walk over to the system to send it off to the kitchen, your page is blank. Nothing. Wrack your brain and try to remember what they ordered, fail miserably, go back to the table, take the order again…aaand repeat. 

It never stops, until you wake up. I have had this dream on a continuous cycle for what seemed like my entire slumber, multiple times and it’s terrible.

The Only Thing I Can Serve You Is Chicken Strips Nightmare

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I’m not sure if other servers have this particular nightmare, but this one is almost comical. If there is ever an instance where I can squeak some rational into my sleeping brain it’s with this one.

I am in the kitchen traying up my table’s meal. After triple checking to make sure everything is there, I lift it up onto my shoulder and carry it out to the dining room, but once I’m there and set it down – it’s nothing but chicken strip baskets. My place of employment doesn’t even serve chicken strip baskets! These people are expecting steak, seafood, and other deliciousness and all I have to offer them is a checkered lined, red chicken strip basket.

I take it back to the kitchen, ditch the chicken, retray up the right food, bring it out, and BAM! Chicken strip baskets again. FML.

The Overwhelming They-Won’t-Stop-Coming Nightmare

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My nightmare, watching me drown…

This is the dream that inspired this post – had it just last night. I had a party of 14, a party of 10, and a party of 20. Everyone wants their beverage, the second party is annoyed because they ordered theirs before the ones receiving theirs and I just can’t keep up. The running to-do list in my brain is growing to the point of craziness and all night, I basically feel like I’m losing my mind.

I have to imagine most people fall into their work lives while they sleep, servers are not alone, but at the rate these things come at me… I think I need a vacation.

6 thoughts on “Waitress Nightmares

  1. I seriously can’t stop laughing! I’m laughing out loud and crying tears – my son came to check on me. I’m sorry I haven’t been to your site lately. I’m going to have to catch up.

    running up and down stairs trying to find my section in 6-inch heels. – that would be a f’in nightmare, especially since I can’t really walk in 2″ heels that well

    The kids are officially done with breaded chicken strips, so I howled at that one

    I never waitressed, because I KNEW I’d be the one forgetting shit. What did they want!

    They won’t stop coming – OMG yup. That’d be a nightmare for sure. Party of 20 all starving. And thirsty.

    I don’t really reblog, but if you have that button available, I’ll repost this. 🙂

    thank you for my Friday Laugh!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I had no idea what FML was, so I had to look that up. I was a busboy when I was younger, which gave me a good glance at how difficult it must be for a waitress to do their jobs. My Aunt was a waitress, but the only thing that I ever learned from her was to never complain about the meal. She told me that if customers complained to her that their steak was not cooked enough that she would have to take it back to the kitchen for them where the nasty chef was. Her chef did not like any kind of criticism, so when any order was brought back to him the first thing that he would do was to spit on their food.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If you go to a quality restaurant, those things never happen. We encourage folks to send their food back if they’re not satisfied and our kitchen staff wants our customers leaving the door happy as much as we, the servers, do. I’ve waitressed many years and have never seen anything like that happen. Don’t be afraid to send your food back. 🙂

      Like

  3. To be honest with you, I’ve never really understood how you waitresses manage to keep track of all those orders in the first place! However, I can understand you’re having such terribly funny nightmares (well, funny to us not necessarily to you) as our daily nightmares always seem to find a way of dancing through our dreams…and usually with a few oddball twist—ala the chicken strips in a basket miraculously replacing the steak order over and over again. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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