I enjoy drinking, but I’m going to start taking it easy. I wouldn’t say I have a drinking problem, but sometimes I cause problems when I drink. Rarely do I have one and call it a night, and I get even louder than I am when I’m sober. For the record, I am not apologizing for any of that, nor do I expect any words of encouragement. I’m just reeling it back and working on getting a little healthier.
I’ve done some things while buzzed. Some funny things, some crazy things, some embarrassing things… and I’m going to share a few of them with you.
Brandin’s brother got married and there was free beer at the reception. Everything was great there, I danced and mingled around and when the party was over we headed back to my in-law’s house to spend the night. We were sleeping in a room upstairs and the last thing I remember is going to bed. I woke up in the morning, drank coffee, and on our way back home Brandin put it all together that I had no idea what I had done the night before.
Per my husband, I got out of bed, stood at the top of the stairs and dropped trou. He could hear his sister and mom chatting at the kitchen table at the bottom of the stairs when suddenly it went quiet. They sat in silence while I moved about the kitchen in nothing but a tee-shirt and bare ass. He’s telling me this – which has already been confirmed by him with his sister and mom – and I can’t even think of anything to say. I tried to deny it in the beginning, but then I called his sister. She provided confirmation but followed it up with saying that imperfect people are the best people and ultimately it made them like my crazy ass more.
Another time, at Bridget’s bachelorette party I got our group kicked out of a bar in St. Paul, Minnesota because I yelled at a girl who ran into me. We exchanged a few words when she told me to get out. My response was something along the lines of “Oh, so this is your places now!?” and while it was not technically her place, it was her place of employment and we were outta there.
During this same bachelorette party, I went around multiple establishments playing Lil’ Wayne on the jukeboxes while telling anyone who would listen that he is the modern day Dr. Seuss.
… And if that all wasn’t enough, here’s this tidbit.
Sometimes, I do this thing where I waitress until 9:00pm and then drink one too many gimlets without eating dinner. This is never a good idea and many are now on board the, make-sure-Jenni-eats, train. Have you ever texted your boss the truth when calling into work hungover? I have because I am not a liar.
I live in Wisconsin… what do you want from me?