Seriously. I can’t. I was supposed to work the other night and had someone cover my shift because of a fucking cold sore. I knowingly just handed over probably, $100 to a coworker. Waiting tables with this thing, people will think I have herpes! (Which I do not just so we’re clear, 100% STD free.) But that’s a general fear. I don’t even want to walk outside in public, let alone tell patrons what the soup of the day is.
I don’t know why, when someone else has a cold sore I don’t assume they have an STD wart on their lip, I assume they’ve probably been a little stressed out. I do, however, take note of how nasty it is, which is exactly why I could justify handing over my shift (tips) to another server.
I’m the girl who wears red lipstick so people use their eyes, not only their ears. One of the coolest chicks I know taught me that trick. Waitresses, even if it’s not your thing, throw on some lipstick and you’ll repeat yourself less. Today though, I put lipstick on hoping it would somehow disguise this atrocious monstrosity on my lower lip, and instead wound up looking like the fucking joker.
For lunch, I made myself a burrito and couldn’t even enjoy it. It was stupid to even try, seeing how it’s painful to open my mouth. Why is this happening to me!? That’s when I went back to the store and purchased some Abreva and smothered it. I say I went back because I had already gone and purchased some Oragel stuff that was half the price. I’m not playing games anymore… but now I’m $126 into this fucking thing.
Have you ever had a $126 cold sore? Fuck my life!