Gym Class

I hate math, how I never failed a single math course is beyond me. Placement tests for college? I was placed in a class that focused on whole numbers and decimals. Six classes under college level. But ya know what I always hated more than math? Gym class. Or, Phys. Ed. if you had that one teacher who found the other disrespectful.

As an adult I can grasp the value of children learning the importance of movement, exercise, and team activities. I’m not saying the class should be veto’d or anything, but it is one giant master plan to embarrass the nonathletic and clumsy.

Like me, wearing a shirt with Betty Boop working on her fitness.

Presidential Standards for Physical Fitness Tests? I never met any of the standards, below average actually. Push ups, sit ups, and don’t get me started on the damn pull up bar.

Please. Just put zero and let me move onto the next embarrassing “test”. I guess the sit and reach wasn’t so bad. Fly yourself forward as fast as you can and hope your partner can read the line your finger was at for a split second – and then lie.

The mile run? More like the mile lackadaisical walk. Queen of the shameless 27 minute mile, right here. Probably why I wasn’t top pickin’ for team games.

Any sport or activity that involved things being kicked, thrown or smacked in my direction was just not my idea of a good time. If someone made the questionable choice to give me a chance of participation, I’d throw it away – literally get rid of it as quick as I can. If that means handing the football off to the opposing team because they happen to be standing right there? Okay.

Please don’t throw it to me. Please don’t throw it to me. Please don’t throw it me. Please don’t throw it to me. PLEASE don’t throw it to me.

Me, silently chanting to myself

Am I the only one who gave eyes to the other weak girl on the opposing dodge-ball team? You get me out and I’ll return the favor. Oh, my turn to enter the game again? Nah. I’ll hang out until the teacher noticed and forced me back in the whirlwind of foam balls.

Why is the rope climb important? Why can’t it be optional? Like, extra credit. This should only be mandatory for adults who would need to perform their job duties. Firefighter. Police officer. Military. Body Builders. Can’t think of a single reason why my chubby 15-year-old ass needs to attempt to climb hang from a rope in front of my class. As if hanging from the pull up bar wasn’t shameful enough.

I realize that I am a woman in my mid-thirties who just went on a rant about something from over a decade ago so I tried really hard to think of some positive memories also. Seeing how I couldn’t come up with single f****** one, I feel my emotions regarding this subject are justified. Thank you for listening.

How about we all just be nice?

I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.

-William Penn (1644-1718)
Founder Of Pennsylvania, United States

What if more people did nice things without expecting any recognition or praise, nice just to be nice? I have always considered myself to be a nice person and I’m sure you’re all nice people as well, but it should be about more than that.

Countless times a day we are all presented with options to do a little more.

I wouldn’t talk behind your back or think poorly of you if you didn’t grasp the opportunity every single time – but every once in a while – grab on and go with it.

Some time ago I came across The Birthday Project. It all started when one woman posted this and the final outcome of it all makes my heart warm. What they stand for is pretty commendable, heartwarming; they promote Random Acts Of Kindness. More specifically, they encourage you to do these things on days when typically, you would be the one getting gifts. The Birthday Project encourages you to gain pleasure by doing delightful things for someone else on your birthday, anniversary, etc. interesting concept, eh?

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

-Diana Spencer (1961-1997)
Princess Of Wales

Random acts of kindness do not need to be of large magnitude. They don’t have to cost you anything and they don’t have to be time-consuming; the size of your kindness does not matter. What matters is you are helping and making someone happy, and hopefully a chain reaction will begin.

If you’re not really grasping what I’m trying to say, you can Google it (made it pretty simple for you). There are examples of kindness eeevvvverywhere. I’ll even do ya one better – I’ll be nice and give you some ideas.

  • Let someone go ahead of you in line – especially if they have a few items & your cart is spilling over.
  • Mail a card or letter to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while (or, someone you spoke to yesterday – everyone loves getting mail).
  • Feed an expired meter.
  • Offer to return a shopping cart to the cart carral for someone– or better yet, take it back into the store.
  • Compliment your co-worker, spouse, child or even a stranger. We all know how a nice statement acknowledging something on us or about us, can make a day a little better.
  • Tape some spare change to a vending machine.
  • Rather than speed up to get ahead of the person merging on the highway – slow down and let them merge – stress-free.

Not everyone will appreciate the kind gestures but thankfully, that’s not what it’s about. It is for the people who need a good pick-me-up just because. I need it every so often and so do you, so do those strangers scowling while waiting in line. Let them go ahead of you.

“A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.”

-Saint Basil (329-379)
Bishop Of Cesarea