A-Cup: The Struggle Is Real

I remember asking my mom if I could get a bra, knowing very well it was not necessary and only because all my friends actually needed them. Most young girls are probably embarrassed to ask because they’re weirded out by their new body; I was embarrassed because I didn’t want to get called out on my want for breasts.

Eventually I was able to comfortably fill an Almost A-Cup from JCPenney’s. Since a boob job is unacceptable and unattainable to a 14 year old, I had a plan: gain a bunch of weight, get really fat – then I’ll have boobs.

When I got pregnant one thing I was looking forward to, obviously, was having some real woman tits. I’d waited 22 years for this moment. They will produce milk and grow because that’s what happens to everyone… right?

No.

It does not happen to everyone. It ended up on a list of concerns to talk to the doctor about, not because I thought it was a health concern or affecting my baby, I just felt gypped. For Christ’s sake, I just want to know what it’s like to have cleavage.

Some women do not produce the majority of their breast milk until they’ve given birth. Don’t worry. -My Doctor.

I ended up formula feeding… with a flat chest.

Nowadays, I’m mostly concerned with finding clothes that fit my confused body. I’m not picky – I just want my attire to accommodate me. Just because I lack upstairs doesn’t mean my ass is flat or my hips are nonexistent. I need a dress created that fits as a medium on top and a large on the bottom. Maybe a whole store can be established called, Flat & Wide. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about my lower half, I’m perfectly content having an ample hindquarters.

Someday I’ll get a boob job, bucket list item #11. Until then, I’ll keep falsely advertising with my padded bras and trick everyone into thinking I’m a solid B cup.


DAILY PROMPT: KICK IT – WHAT’S THE 11TH ITEM ON YOUR BUCKET LIST?

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others

I am 3 months into my blogging adventure & I’m having a jolly good time checking out all the different elements of the “Stats”…

I logged into Google Webmaster Tools the other day to see what kind of searches are pulling up my blog & they all totally made sense – except one. Screenshot_2014-04-25-21-38-38-1I’m sure you know which one I’m referring to.

Who was searching that & why? Were they concerned that it may be a real problem? I wish I could have provided them with the answer they were seeking…but I doubt they were looking for my singular reference to boobs that I can think of…

Silly nonetheless.