A Year’s Worth of Properly Ridiculous

One year ago I signed up for WordPress & published my first post 6 days later.

In this span of time, I’ve managed to convince 683 people to keep an eye on it. I watched that number go up and down quite a bit – depending on what was being ranted, raved or praised. I’ve monitored the traffic behind it all, almost to a fault.

I’ve watched my writing progress & change. I’ve explored different styles; wrote my very first fiction & followed with a few more.  I attempted to make sense of crazy trials, news stories, missing planes, made my fear of Ebola known & told a whole-lotta people to STFU.

I struggled through my ridiculous anxiety, and learned how to curb it. Later in the year, listened to an audio book that rocked my socks off & told everyone to just go out and follow your own arrow. I Attempted to explain resting bitch face … In turn, I was kinda bitchy about smoking & littering.

I’ve documented my son growing up, his continuing crush on the Tooth Fairy … & when he tried to plunge the toilet with a towel. Yeah, It Happened. I’m so happy it’s written down & saved for his future girlfriends.

Since I’m obviously a professional, I shared the wealth of knowledge and told you how to raise your kids also.

I made my love for football well known. Wrote a few open letters to Jared Allen & Brett Favre. Stuck up for Adrian Peterson & Ray Rice, called out ignorant football fans & directly told the entire NFL to get it together.

I turned thirty and intentionally have not changed my About Me page to reflect that; Properly Ridiculous will forever be, pushing 30. It’s been a good year & next will be better.

Thank you, 683 people who validate my lack of a filter.

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Dear Mr. Brett Favre

Dear Mr. Favre,

I have yet to read the article that coincides with your most recent picture. (the most recent picture I’ve seen – I’m sure you’ve taken more recent pictures).

In case you’re unsure what photo I am talking about – I want to be sure we’re on the same page.

I wonder if there is an actual article delivering any sort of news other than your fresh beardy lumberjack recent appearance?

I’m confused. Why so buff? Are you trying out gym candy that you weren’t allowed to dabble in for so long? I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, I couldn’t care less actually – pure curiosity.  If I was forced to make an assumption, I’d say you got yourself one of those bow-flex machines. Anyone who has seen the commercials for that muscle building contraption knows that it has assisted in many men (and women) over fifty to be “in the best shape of their lives.”

Are you over 50? I don’t even know how old you are…

All I technically know about you is that you were a tip-top quarterback for many years and you gave us Minnesota Viking’s fans one heck of a (singular) fun year.

I had a super great experience watching you throw the game-winning touchdown against San Fran. I was perched at a bar in Wisconsin, filled with green wearing my purple Favre jersey mockingly proudly.

In case you want to watch it again – I know I do.

I am aware that you played more than one season with us – but the first one was the only one that produced excitement I would describe as fun. I’ll spare you the bitchiness regarding what happened after that… because I like you (even if you did cheat on Deanna).

Back to the photo, I got sidetracked. 

It’s odd to me that your hulking muscles caught my eye first. The other obviously notable thing in this photo is that you’re sporting a pretty spectacular beard. I have absolutely nothing negative to say about it.  

If it were possible for two men to procreate – I’d imagine you could be the product of Santa Claus and Kenny Rogers. That doesn’t offend you, does it? You’re in much better shape than both of them – which is very obvious as we have already gone over your ponderous muscles.

See what I did up there? I threw in my (for now) quarterback’s name; Clever, eh? But………I surely do not have a single desire to discuss the quarterback “situation” in Minnesota with you. I’d fear you reading what you already know and letting out a big boisterous laugh while protein shake spurts out of your nose.

Anywho…hope you’re doing well.

Love, A Viking Fan (that still likes you).