Married White Female, Looking for a Healthy Debate

Our world today allows us to create our own skewed version of reality. Social media, every single day, throwing anything and everything that we already agree with in our faces, and news feeds making us feel superior and right. How can I be wrong? I’ve been blasted by twenty-two articles in a span of ten minutes showing my opinions as fact at this point.

I put myself into check sometimes with reminders that this also applies to me. It’s not easy to keep an open mind and truly listen to ideas that push against what has been smothering you since Facebook and other social media outlets started targeting their audiences with sponsored content. Your entire social media existence is warped, and that’s why we feel so strongly about issues – it’s being fed to us on a silver platter. Sure, it’s warped to your liking – but that’s the problem.

Healthy debate is a treat nowadays. I have a hard time finding a person with opposing viewpoints to have a sensible conversation with; to explain, in a normal tone of voice, why they feel a certain way and then allowing me to do the same. Believe it or not, when I express myself, I enjoy a (respectful) contradictory remark. I cross my fingers and hope that this person hasn’t been bitten by the social media bug. That maybe, just maybe, a respectable, low-key exchange of opinions is possible.

The vast majority of humans who utilize social media would rather pump their fists and bang their chests, knowing that you won’t jump on their bandwagon. The opposing viewpoint does not matter, whoever says theirs the loudest wins – and they still hate each other.

We used to debate, we used to try to be open-minded to differing opinions. Not anymore, because we don’t even care enough to educate ourselves, let alone other people. It’s too easy. Fake news is real news, and real news doesn’t stand a chance. The speed at which information gets relayed to and from is faster than we, as a world, can keep up with… and that will be our demise.

It used to be common conversation to imply that everyone was entitled to their own opinion without pure madness erupting. That was fun. Suddenly, no one is listening. No one is interested as to why their neighbor voted the way they did, why they are choosing to not vaccinate their children, why they are for, or against gun reform. Instead of instantly judging, if we could take the time to just ask, why. 

We would be in such a better place if healthy debates were still a common occurrence. Whether you’re Republican, Democrat, Independent, white, black, Mexican, Catholic, Atheist, young, old – this reality we live in affects us all in a range of different ways, but here we are.

Next time you’re in a position to have a real conversation with someone who doesn’t look at the world the same way you do, take it and embrace it. Listen to what is being said and respect that even if our ideas are polar opposites that we’re still human beings, coexisting.

I will not apologize for my lack of a filter.

Life is short, say what you have to say – how you want to say it.

This is something relatively new to me, while I’ve always been the girl who spits out something wild here and there, I have not always been this opinionated. And let me tell you, it’s liberating and I don’t think you’d regret adopting the same mindset.

You can’t please everyone. You are not everyone’s cup o’ tea and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but even if you try, it’s not happening. Just save yourself the hassle and do you, because no one else can.  There isn’t a person on this planet who has the same thought process as you, so let us hear what you think.


Fuck a filter.


Talk to each other. Debate each other. Challenge each other.

Don’t get it twisted though, I don’t go out of my way to be disrespectful or rude. There’s a difference, often times a fine line, between speaking your mind and shoving things down the throats of others. The same can be said for arguing vs. a healthy debate. If you’re opening your mouth to object, be ready to open your ears just as fast.

Communicating an opposing viewpoint, giving an honest opinion, or calling bullshit politely disagreeing is something I genuinely enjoy, call me crazy. As long as the other participant in the conversation is rational, there’s a good chance I’ll learn something in the process. But let’s get real… I’m actually hoping the other person will end up saying something like, Jeeze I never thought of it like that. 

More often than not, the conversation doesn’t really change the way someone feels regarding this, that or the other. I share a lot of opinions, it’s  doubtful I’ve ever 100% changed someone’s own – but that’s not the goal. Learn something. If I oppose you – give it to me back. Tell me why you think my opinion is bogus, I want to hear it.

How boring would it be if everyone just agreed? If when you didn’t, you just kept your mouth shut? I know, I know… there are plenty of people who would prefer that and are currently thinking to themselves, that’d actually be quite peaceful.

I get it – it’s that whole not-everyone’s-cup-o-tea thing.

I cuss, it’s a habit but I refuse to call it a bad one. Sometimes Most of the time, non-swear words don’t have the ability to get my point across the same way as, fuck, shit, and damn. End of story.

But you have a kid! What are you teaching him? What kind of example is that?


I do not allow my kid to say whatever the fuck he wants, ok? He’s is doing just fine because he’s smart and knows the difference between grown up words and kid words. I never filtered myself to speak like the PTO-moms so we had that talk pretty young. If I’m being honest, when it’s age-appropriate, I actually look forward to many conversations that include the above referenced words – probably coming out of both of our mouths. Again, there’s a fine line between being disrespectful and being expressive, that’s where more important aspects of parenting come in.

I will not apologize for my lack of a filter – whether it’s opinion related, choice of words, or just flat out random statements. I am not everyone’s favorite kind and that’s okay. Next time you’re in a situation where you find yourself biting your tongue, don’t. Not everyone is used to folks speaking up with opposing input, watch the faces of the people around you and enjoy.

Confirmed: Ben Carson Is Actually Dumb

I remember thinking for 2.5 seconds that Ben Carson might have some good ideas. Ultimately, it was his weird tone and shifty eyes that officially made him unelectable in my own realm of political judgement.

ben carson

I forget that not everyone is enthusiastically watching CNN like a maniac. If you didn’t have the pleasure of hearing the strange monotone words Dr. Carson spoke, I’m not surprised.

My favorite Ben Carson moment was during a debate in Houston where he hopped on the mic, out of turn, and politely asked one of his opponents to attack him so he’d have an opportunity to speak.

He earned some humor points but unfortunately, for the retired Neurosurgeon, I do not support a candidate based on their ability to deliver a successful joke. Can we talk about that for a second? Neurosurgeon? I’m sure he is very smart (and not technically dumb). Ben Carson has saved lives…surprising, but kudos to him for that.

In the meantine, he’s endorsed Donald Trump for President which only confirmed this growing suspicion that Ben Carson might actually be really dumb. I recently shared 12 things that I trust more than Mr. Trump, which included rusty razors and vodka, I don’t like the guy. I don’t understand why so many do; as for Ben Carson, I think they shared an awkward moment that meant something to him.

They’ll always have that.

Oh, and I also think Donald promised his weird little buddy, Ben, a place in his administration. Education, if we’re going off what Mr. Trump says about Mr. Carson’s ‘expertise’ on the matter. If you feel so inclined, I encourage you to check out Ben Carson’s website. Citing a 2012 study regarding America’s rank in mathematics among other countries hardly makes him appear to be an expert on education.

Donald Trump and Ben Carson, the odd couple. I can’t take this madness anymore.

awkward donald ben

(Feel The Bern, People.)

Ben Carson Slowly Floats Away From Earth

I Do Not Fear Mental Illness – I Fear Our Perception Of It

I sat in a park in Menasha, Wisconsin by the water with my 8 year old son last night. It was beautiful…and scary. It wasn’t like this before. I found myself looking over my shoulder every time I heard voices coming in our direction. I kept a judgmental eye on people who seemed to be moving in a way that didn’t seem normal.

The typical safety I feel by being surrounded by a baseball diamond full of players & other folks enjoying the weather… was gone. It does not matter how many people you’re surrounded by when there could be one individual in the crowd who is unstable and battling an inner struggle that you or I cannot comprehend.

mental illness quote michelle obama

[Police: 4 dead, including suspect, in Menasha shooting]

At 7:30pm on May 3rd, 2015 in a park in Menasha, Wisconsin four people werementalillness killed, including an 11 year old girl.  Grief struck me last night as I sat with my son; I felt sadness for a child that will never experience life & for her mother who survived. I looked at my son, put my arm around him & realized I cannot protect him from a mentally ill person with a gun. When a human being is overcome with a negative shadow, rarely is an offense they commit planned out. Randomly, they seem to take their aggressiveness and feelings out on innocent people who never see it coming.

Gun control, gun control, gun control… in America we all have an opinion. We read about it, we talk and debate about it – if we, as a nation, discussed mental illness the way we ranted about gun control… we might get somewhere. But, the focus remains on a belonging, rather than people.


I’ve always been an overly-analytical person, trying to understand things by dissecting every aspect of a scenario, regardless how big or small. While watching people in the park last night, I started to wonder how the shooter’s family and friends are grieving the loss of him.

Were there red flags that now haunt them? Had he attempted to reach out for professional help, what steps would have been taken by doctors… medication?  I can’t help but get angry when mental-illness is downplayed or not taken seriously.  We’re failing not only a person who has something terribly wrong with them… but we’re failing the 11 year old girl whose life got cut short.

Sitting in a quiet park in Wisconsin with my son, should be anything but an anxiety-ridden experience. The pleasantry of the trees finally being filled with green leaves & the sounds of kids running around, without a care in the world have been replaced with an uneasy pit in my stomach.mental health quote glenn close1

Legalize It

I recently read an article on the Huffington Post that showed images of not-your-typical-pot-heads enjoying recreational marijuana.

[These Photos Of Legal Recreational Marijuana Users Shatter Stereotypes]

“We all know that many marijuana smokers look more like your Aunt Bettie or your accountant than “The Dude” from “The Big Lebowski,” but most images in the public sphere still do not reflect this.”

-Sharda Sekaran [managing director of communications for DPA.]

I haven’t done a ton of research, I haven’t spent hours reading all the ins & outs of the legality of this plant; what I have done is smoked weed. Would you like to know what other drugs I have tried? Alcohol; that’s where my list stops.

Society likes to cling onto the term “gateway drug” when talking to the children.

If you smoke marijuana you’re going to end up homeless looking for your next crack rock.

No. Poor decisions and bad influences make you homeless scrounging around for crack… not weed. Weed is not the issue.

Since I brought up Alcohol… would you like to know the terrible, raunchy things I’ve done after consuming too much? I’m sure you would, but I’m not actually going to share; use your imagination [or read about it].

Who hasn’t done things they regret while under the influence of their favorite adult beverage? Know what I’m not embarrassed to share with you?

The stupidest thing I’ve done while I was high on marijuana. I ate a lot of junk food, felt super bloated…had a ridiculously deep conversation, laughed about it & gained 2 pounds in one night.

To avoid sounding like every other person who’s preachin’ about the legalization of marijuana, I won’t go into the “War on Drugs” and the tax-payers dollars being spent to house the “weed-criminals” in prison in America. [42 Billion Dollars/Year]

There are facts that this drug has benefits to people. If a doctor can prescribe Vicodin to a patient to fight pain, there is a chance that person will abuse it. When Joe Alchie goes to the bar, the possibility of irresponsibly consuming the legal alcohol, is there.

The burden needs to be placed on the individual.

I want society to stop labeling this drug as dangerous. I want people like Nancy Grace who want to, “Save The Children” from pot-heads, to take their blinders off.

Nancy Grace had 2 Chainz on her show on HLN to debate this topic.

The video clip that gets put up for the viewers to see is a small child walking around with a joint; Nancy goes nuts over this poor child. THIS IS NOT TYPICAL. How many times have children taken drinks of alcohol when their irresponsible parent wasn’t paying attention?

Quick, ya better start a petition to make all varieties of alcohol banned.

Newsflash: You can be a “Pot-Head”, watch that video on Nancy Grace & wish those people never procreated. Society puts a blanket of judgment over the use of recreational marijuana & to be honest, I’m kinda tired of it.  You can be a “Pot-Head” and still hold strong parental values. You can be a “Pot-Head” and still be responsible. You can be a “Pot-Head” and have morals and goals.

Washington, Colorado, Oregon & Alaska are black and white proof that there are benefits to changing the laws. Colorado’s statistics alone shows a revenue of 60.1 million dollars via taxes, licenses and fees on recreational and medical marijuana, from January to October 2014.

In the mean time, my lovely state of Wisconsin just passed a law that allows samples of hard liquor to be handed out at grocery stores.