One & [Happily] Done.

In case you’re someone who hasn’t asked me yet, I have zero plans to create any more human beings. The words, ‘Perfectly Content’ come to mind when I think about the three person operation I have going on.

We have a dad, a mom and our 8 year old.

Being pregnant wasn’t a negative experience & has nothing to do with the choice I’ve made. I loved being pregnant. Growing a person inside your body is kind of an amazing experience & I’d totally do it again…If I didn’t have to be thrown back into infant parenting.

quoteHave you ever gotten married, and then told people you weren’t trying to make a
baby? It’s interesting. Depending on the person, the emotions vary. You have the really disappointed grandparents, the new-parent-friends who want to make sure you’re sure it’s the right decision & then there are the people who just stare at you – confused.

Allow me to explain:

My child is currently basking in his independence and we all love it. Why would I want to disrupt that?

He’s old enough to appreciate awesome day trips [that he’ll remember] and he can play outside without supervision.  He helps out around the house AND he’s fun to be around.

I was young when I had my human & I will be young when he moves out. I didn’t plan it this way; I thought I’d have more than one, but before we knew it he was eight years old. Who wants to start all over again when you’re about half way done?!

Let’s talk about money; I do not swim in it. I want to provide my son with as much security and awesomeness as possible. Unlike a lot of my generation, I don’t agree with bringing more children into the world when we’re not financially prepared for it.

I made that mistake once while it all worked out, I learned from it.

Our entire dynamic would change if an infant was introduced to our family. I don’t even remember what it’s like to have a baby. I don’t remember what it’s like to have a toddler. Having legit conversations with my offspring… it’s what I’ve gotten used to.

One & [Happily] Done.

JUDGE ME AND MINE & KEEP YOUR WOLVES DRESSED IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING ON A PEDESTAL.

Once upon a time, in a land kinda far away… I was a robot. There were no wires, sensors, control systems or software under my skin, but, I did have a function that habitually moved me. I was equipped to please.

As a robot, you don’t need to worry about your own feelings – because there are none. Perhaps occasionally a twinge of something begins, but it’s quickly dismissed… because there are more important things & people who are counting on your services.

It’s irrational to believe anyone has the type of power I was attempting to achieve in my robotic status. A few years back I ran into some mechanical problems & I started having original thoughts. When a systematic person’s soul sole function is to ensure the happiness of everyone around them, eventually some wires will get crossed.

Sparks flew.

My head spun around a few times.

Violently, I shook.

Without warning, I felt control over myself. Control of happiness, choices, words, time, decisions, effort, feelings, direction, wants, needs, sadness, passion… I felt it all. The discipline I’d crafted for everyone else’s happiness – was turned onto myself. Where has the concern for me been all this time? What have I missed out on?

As the reality exploded in front of me, I ran with it.

I found a passion & started writing. Writing turned into comprehending & more feeling. The feeling transformed into self-love; that type of love does not come from other’s happiness – it comes from your own.

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. 

-George Bernard Shaw

Change does not translate easily to everyone. A dramatic shift in demeanor must mean something negative, right? Assumptions were made & ideas turned into fabrications.

There’s chatter from across the way:  Sally, Joe & John are worried about you… 

FIX IT – it’s what you do.

Reach out. Talk to them. Tell them where you are. Tell them everything is going to be okay.

The truth is…no one asked; Sally, Joe & John assumed. Slowly, it became a slap in the face. Regardless how slow the motion & connection, it hurt.

It is unacceptable to theorize my life with a negative tone & not question it. It’s distasteful to chatter among yourselves about a toxic situation you believe I’m in & not question it. Because of this, there are people in my life I no longer speak with. Do I miss them? Yep, sure do.

e9c685c8595370d40cb51d2cc7043cc4

Judge me and mine & keep your wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing on a pedestal.

Life is not about proper movement.

Being isn’t about knowing what to say all the time.

There should not be a script for every day life.

Originality is inspiring. Your brain can be exercised & you won’t even break a sweat. Don’t be afraid to stick up for yourself. Don’t be hesitant to find happiness in unconventional ways. Find something you’re good at… do it, a lot. Your ideas hold value, even if it’s only to you. Don’t do anything for the masses. 

Just be happy.

Don’t surround yourself with anyone who fights that.

A Child’s Lying Confession

What are you doing? 

The question startled my 9 year old brother who was struggling to get the receiver of our telephone back on the wall. Quickly, with a tiny *ring* as it connected back on its hook, my brother bolted to the opposite side of the kitchen and very poorly lied:

I’m trying to get a paper towel, but I can’t reach!

If this was present day I would have called him stupid for thinking I’d actually believe that – maybe punch him in the arm? …ya know, now that we’re grownups and all.

That morning however, I didn’t; I stood there with a confused look on my 7 year old face. Before anymore lies could escape my brother’s mouth that same old-school house phone started ringing.

phone giphy

Like clockwork, my sister who is older than both of us comes strolling down the stairs and answers it.

It’s the police.

Making sure everything is A-OK because they just received a hang up call from our number.

I wasn’t worried. My brother will fess up & we can all go on with our morning. My mother picks up the phone, all sleepy like:

Hello?

Yes…

Mmmhmm…

Yes officer, everything is just fine here. I’ll make sure to talk to the kids about it.

Thank you.

For hours on end we sat at the kitchen table.

H-O-U-R-S. 

It’s important for you to know that I am not exaggerating; I couldn’t take it anymore. Liar McLiar-Pants wasn’t budging from his paper towel story and eventually these words escaped my mouth:

I DID IT.

I made the decision that the lecture had already happened (a few times) & the talking was completed in the hours spent at the table. I mean, what could really happen if I just innocently fess up to make it all end? …Go to my room? Okay. Anything would be better than where I was.

Well, let me tell you what can happen:

You ma’am are going to make a home-made Christmas Ornament and march it down the police station & apologize for wasting their time!

– My Mother

……I DIDN’T DO IT.

-Me

It was entirely too late. Not only did my mother not believe me… even if she did, she was done sitting at that table. I’m not sure whose face of relief was bigger…hers, or my lying brothers. Jerk.

The ornament was a reindeer; handmade with fleece. I attempted to Google Image Search these festive-amazing things…but I’m sorry to report that my mother might have made them up. 7 pages into the search & not a single picture looked even similar to the Christmas decor we made growing up.

ahole

I already touched mildly regarding my dear brother’s face when I announced it was I…who called 9-1-1…

but let’s take it one tiny step further.

The smugness throughout the rest of the process was something he should win an award for.

The ride to the police station was much worse than where I was earlier that morning, at least then I was comfy in my PJ’s. Now, I was being chauffeured to apologize for something 2/3s of the people in the car knew I didn’t do.

HAVE THEM GIVE ME A LIE DETECTOR TEST!

To think I thought they’d actually use the time and resources to give a 7 year old girl a lie detector test is a bit ridiculous – But at that point, anything was game. Our car takes the slow turn into the police station and I swing my door open, my eyes never leaving my brothers face…

This was me…

serious

And, this was him…

bro

I meander through the doors of the big bad police station, not positive if I’m more mad at myself for saying I did it, my brother for not fessing up at all, at any point…or my mom for making me do this.

As I slid the magnet on the counter…slowly and awkwardly I muttered:

I’m sorry I called 9-1-1 this morning.

I won’t do it again.

…………..I made this reindeer magnet for you…………..

[If there was no snide, I-Hate-My-7-Year-Old-Life-Tone in your head while reading that quote…please try again…I’ll wait.]

Ya know, here’s the thing…Ultimately, it was my own fault for taking the blame. Ultimately, my brother did exactly what I would have done in his position & so did my mother.
I can take that all in, as a grown woman. I’m happy to inform you also that my brother & I get along much better these days.

155209_10150342626330484_784422_n

199800_4744870451_4085_n

…But I’ll never stop telling this story.

Have patience with all things

Mom, I have an idea…were the first words out of my son’s mouth when I woke him up for school. He’s a bright kid, so I’m always anxious to hear what’s going on in his busy mind.

“Can we both stay home today so I don’t have to go another whole day without seeing you?”

kkgiphy

You see…

We just moved & I spent the entire last weekend cleaning & emptying our old place. Monday came around & I left for work at approximately 7:45am; immediately after work I ventured over to a marketing class that I’m taking on Monday nights. During a class break, I called my son to tell him goodnight – ask how his day at school was & he was fast asleep by the time I got home at 10:00pm.

giphy

I miss my kid.

Not that I’m proud to say it…but, I have probably been more absent in the day-to-day life of my kiddo in the past few weeks than ever before; keeping in mind that this is all for the best.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” — Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

This too shall pass, is what they say…whoever they are, they seem to have their crap together so I’ll take their word for it. I wish I knew who to thank for that short statement that puts things in perspective.

I am bettering my son’s life, my husband’s life & my own by accomplishing these tasks that take time. While this is the worst of times – I miss my family, I miss me time, I miss being bored…this is still the best of times.

Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself. -Saint Francis de Sales

Balance is a lovely thing I’ve stumbled upon recently.

I will take the time I get to spend with the people who hold my heart – and give them my undivided attention. I will take the time to expand my knowledge to secure our future & give that my undivided attention. I will find the time to unpack and make our new house a home… & give that my undivided attention…

…all at the right time. 

I’m thankful for the best & worst right now, for they will ultimately determine my destination. I may not know where I’m headed quite yet – but I’m moving in the correct direction, of that I’m sure.


Inspiration from: The Daily Post

Unexpected Adventure: From My Point Of View

We’ve been there before, multiple times. 

A trail we never noticed peeked out from behind some trees & invited us in. 

Without thought – we proceed to have an adventure.

…Here is what I saw…

Tree Stump

 

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.  – Albert Einstein

 

Leaves Sky

To sit in the shade on a fine day and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment.  – Jane Austen

 

Tree Sky

To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster its renewal is our only legitimate hope of survival. – Wendell Berry

 

Door In Stump

I like trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do. – Willa Cather

 

Skipping Rocks

Let Nature be your teacher. – William Wordsworth

 

WaterTreeGrass

A lake is the landscape’s most beautiful and expressive feature. It is earth’s eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature. – Henry David Thoreau 

 

Open Field

The quicker we humans learn that saving open space and wildlife is critical to our welfare and quality of life, maybe we’ll start thinking of doing something about it. – Jim Fowler

 

Little Room In The Woods

The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. – Christopher McCandless

 

Lighthouse1
Man must behave like a lighthouse; he must shine day and night for the goodness of every man.  – Mehmet Murat ildan

 

Father Son So Small Trees

Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees. – Karle Wilson Baker

 

DrinkingFountain Frame

He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. – Clarence Budington Kelland

 

Bennett Water

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.  – Andre Gide

 

scrapestyle,adventure,yesss,quotes-e013951e4e64978ed76b99af03e3bad8_h

Sig