J is for Jared Allen

Sundays, on weekend visits with my dad I loved dozing off on the couch in the basement while he passionately watched the Vikings; there is still something nostalgic about falling asleep with NFL commentators giving their two cents in the background.

After I’d graduated high school, I stopped falling asleep and started paying attention. This new guy signed with the Vikings in 2008, sparking my interest more than the rest of the guys with tight pants and nice behinds – but(t) it had nothing to do with the attire or his derriere.

Maybe it was the mullet – after all, Billy Ray Cyrus was my first love.

billy-ray-cyrus-feature

There is something about watching defense players; manly men busting through an offensive line – slamming into the opposing teams quarterback? I love that shit and Jared Allen was good at it.

Before I asked many questions I assumed the wrangling of cattle move he would do after a sack was something very different – yet I enjoyed watching him pretend to be a jack-in-the-box. It made sense to me; those things can be scary. The quarterback has no idea when it’s going to happen and then, BAM!

Jared Celebration.gif

Jared Allen – all up in your shit – just like a jack-in-the-box.

He may be solely responsible for my fondness of the game. When I realized Jared Allen was the love of my football life is when my admiration for the game itself all fell together. Now…643 tackles, 136 quarterback sacks, 57 pass deflections, 6 interceptions,  31 forced fumbles and 4 safeties later – we say goodbye to Jared Allen on the football field.

Thankfully, I have experience with saying goodbye to this man – when he left me for the Bears I almost took it personally. He was supposed to go to the Seahawks – that was what I had planned and prepared for. When I heard the bad-news-bears I knew I’d have to say goodbye. How were we supposed to keep our Sundays together when he left me for something so ugly?  The Bears?! It’s just not in me to cheer for a Chicago Bear… ever.

We had to break up. 

I kept his wild-game cookbook I’d gotten for Christmas one year [with zero intentions of ever utilizing any of the recipes] displayed in my living room bookshelf, like a memorial; a reminder of the good times. Like any scorned ex, I was glad he didn’t excel in his new relationship. When that [dumb-never-should-have-happend] relationship ended? I  enthusiastically gave out high-fives, smiles and hugs.

Jared Allen announced his retirement back in February and I had an idea he’d come back to me – and he did.

jared
This was us – when we were happy.

Retired in purple, together again.


A to Z Challenge: Day Ten

An Open Letter To Stupid Viking Fans

Dear You,

You know who you are. You’re the one booing the second an interception is thrown or whenever the Vikings just don’t quite meet your expectations. I’ve been wanting to write this for quite some time; last Sunday we played the Packers and many of you showed your faces giving me the ammo I was waiting for. Our Vikes, being on a winning streak and all – I’m sure you expected them to do more than they did, right?

Twenty minutes south of Green Bay I watched the game from my house and could clearly hear roars of ‘GO-PACK-GO’ throughout the entire fourth quarter …because all of you stupid fans left. 

Did you not want to face the Packer fans? Can’t handle a little grief? Were you just that disgusted that you couldn’t bear to watch another second? Trying to beat the traffic? …All stupid reasons. I don’t give a flying shit what the score is with 8 minutes remaining in the fourth quarter… why are you leaving?!

Friendly Tip: Just don’t go. Save yourself the misery and fake fandom.

Listen, I’m not unreasonable. I also don’t enjoy being a Vikings fan 100% of the time, it’s not always fun. Hell, let’s be real, watching them kick ass in the first half only to be a completely different team when they come back from halftime sucks. I get it. Do you know what I hate more than even that, though?

Being associated with you stupid fans.

I live in Wisconsin – if there is one other Viking fan that’s in the general vicinity – we’re lumped together and I don’t appreciate it. The Vikings have the worst fans in the NFL (that could be an exaggeration… I didn’t look it up) and 79% of you only support them when they’re winning (another made up statistic).

We lost against the Packers… what about before that? The Vikings won five games in a row for the first time since 2009. We’re still playoff contenders. Our team is a talented group of guys with crazy potential and the coaching is finally where it needs to be. We play our biggest rival to defend the North Division and you let a bunch of Packer fans take over in your house. That’s gross.

While I think the Vikings deserve that new stadium… you stupid Viking fans do not. Maybe with the extra bells and whistles you’ll enjoy your time more. Meanwhile, I’m going to start drafting a letter to whoever is in charge over there – maybe they can work on some technology that can drown out your fairweather, wishy-washy-boos so the team… that you’re there to support don’t get distracted…by their fans. 

You’re dumb.

-A Non-Stupid Viking’s Fan.

SKOL.

 

Seriously STFU: Ignorant Football Fans

There are two things I talk a lot about: ignorance & football. I was lucky enough This year they seemed to go hand in hand. Football players showed plenty of ignorance – entire organizations did the same.

What irritates me more are the normal, everyday people/fans who throw words like, Thug out there. The people who cast overall judgement while they sit back & simply absorb what the media chooses feeds to them.

That’s lazy.

“All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.”
Will Rogers

I keep my mouth shut if I’m not confident contributing. If I must open my mouth, I ask questions; it’s a valuable habit to have. My favorite thing about having that ability is that I don’t come across as an idiot. Priorities.

Why didn’t this enter into my thought process at any point? I never put that together.

Can we just all talk about how talented these guys are?

Gosh, it sure is fun to watch Richard Sherman intercept a ball.

Gee, how amazing was that run Marshawn did last Sunday?

I’d love to participate in that conversation, but unfortunately there’s a group of people who want to judge actions that… let’s be honest:

AREN’T THAT BIG OF A DEAL. 

[via: thesavvysista.com]
[via: thesavvysista.com]
Is Richard Sherman the only outspoken NFL player? Other players who passionately run their mouths, they don’t get talked about in the same manner as him. Is Mr. Sherman a bad person? Does it make him uneducated? Is he a thug?

Richard Sherman had a 4.2 grade-point average in high school. Received a football scholarship to Stanford, where he also ran track and earned a degree in communication. A DEGREE IN COMMUNICATION.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with his manner or choice of communication on or off the field. I do expect people, especially football fans to know what they’re talking about if they’re choosing to harshly judge someone.

[via: examiner.com]
[via: examiner.com]
As far as Marshawn Lynch goes… he explained last year why he doesn’t enjoy talking to the media. marshawn

[via: deadspin.com]

His one-answer press conferences weren’t intended to be amusing… initially. Of course, as time progressed and the media & a bunch of other people, had their way with it… I’m sure he’s having a great time with it now [and so I am].

#LEAVEMARSHAWNALONE 

Wednesday January 29, 2015 - Marshawn Lynch Media Day Statement
Wednesday January 29, 2015 – Marshawn Lynch Media Day Statement

[via: examiner.com]
[via: examiner.com]
Josh Gordon? What are your thoughts on him? He’s a drug addict. A bad person? A thug? I encourage you to read the open letter he wrote.

Dear Sir Charles, Stephen A., Cris and other interested parties

Most importantly, I have failed myself. Again.

But you know what, Charles, Stephen A., Cris and everyone else? I also have succeeded.

Truth is, I have not smoked marijuana since before I was drafted by the Browns in 2012 — and there are years’ worth of drug tests to prove it.

Josh Gordon Open Letter Medium

There are no rules or regulations when it comes to being ignorant. No one is directly punished for being uneducated and opinionated all at once… but they should be. The amount of resources available to research…whatever it is you want to be vocal about is fairly extensive. Utilize it. Don’t put your foot in your mouth by doing something stupid like calling Richard Sherman, Marshawn Lynch or Josh Gordon a thug.

Ignorance Is [NOT] Bliss

Seriously…STFU.


 More NFL Rants

Misunderstood Marshawn 

Get It Together, NFL  

See Ya Later, Ray Rice.

Ray Rice: None Of Us Have Any Idea  

By far my most popular… and when I say popular…I actually mean hated post…

Adrian Peterson Is Not A Child Abuser 

Adrian Peterson Barred From All Viking Team Activites

Onside Chick: Vikings Vs. Packers Prediction

The last time the Minnesota Vikings and the Green Bay Packers dueled, it ended in a 26-26 tie. Prediction: That will not happen again… 

Offensively Speaking…

The Minnesota Vikings have a lot to be excited about after Sunday’s win against the Falcons.  Rookie QB, Teddy Bridgewater threw for 317 yards and ran five times for 27 more. His calm demeanor and mature movement in the pocket, certainly doesn’t scream, Rookie! 

Teddy Bridgewater
via: espn

As good of a game as it was for the Vikings on Sunday – Let’s not forget that the Green Bay Packers are 7-1-1 in their last nine games against the Vikings at home &… they do not need stellar performances by a rookie quarterback to get their fans excited; they have Aaron Rogers – who recently told fans:

R-E-L-A-X…He’s got this.

Aaron Rogers
via: espn

Since Adrian Peterson has been out dealing with his legal woes, Viking running backs Matt Asiata and Jerick McKinnon have had a good run… (pun intended).  McKinnon exploded out of the backfield for 135 yards last week and Asiata added three rushing touchdowns against the Falcons. This week, these two get to go against the less than stellar Green Bay defense – who has given up 175 yards on the ground… per game.

matt-asiata-teddy-bridgewater-nfl-atlanta-falcons-minnesota-vikings fansided com
via: fansided.com

Packers running back, Eddie Lacy rushed into the end-zone for the first time this year securing 1 out of the 4 touchdowns Green Bay scored against the Chicago Bears last Sunday.  It’s safe to say, Green Bay may not a running team… but they don’t need to be to get a win.

via: blacksportsonline.com
via: blacksportsonline.com

Because, the Packers have him & Jordy Nelson… & Randall Cobb.

Defensively Speaking…

The Minnesota Viking’s overall #1 pick, Linebacker Anthony Barr seems to know what he’s doing with 2 sacks so far & Free Safety, Harrison Smith made his intentions clear in the 4th quarter against the Falcons by sealing the the Viking’s win with an interception.

via: zimbio.com
via: zimbio.com

The Packers defense has struggled this season, but they managed to hold their own against the typically high scoring Bears offense last week. The packers have key players on their defense like Clay Matthews who intercepted Jay Cutler & Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix who had 5 tackles, all on his own last week.

via: sportingnews.com
via: sportingnews.com
Prediction:

It pains me to say this as a Minnesota Viking Fan…but, I have to be honest. The combination of playing at Lambeau Field & Teddy’s minor ankle setback… I can not sit here and say I think The Vikings will come out victorious.

Green Bay Packers:  34
Minnesota Vikings: 27

I’m expecting Mr. Rogers to sling the ball & connect a few times. I mean, obviously…

I think Mr. Bridgewater’s game will be less smooth than his game against the Falcons. If he can stay as collected as last week & the offensive line continues to protect him though…

Who knows?

[Skol]

One more prediction…

via: allgbp.com
via: allgbp.com

We will see this.

Fun Fact: The Packers–Vikings rivalry is noted for being very balanced. In the first 97 meetings, the total offensive yardage, points scored, wins, turnovers, and time of possession are all within 5% of each other; these are the closest margins for a rivalry longer than 15 years. 


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Hang In There: Another NFL Off-Season Is Almost Behind Us

Most devoted NFL fans are able to agree that there’s pretty much only one upside to the end of a football season:

You mean there’s another day of weekend that is open for activities?

I hope you’ve enjoyed leaving the house on Sundays for the past few months…while you were out, here are some things that happened.

Free agency started out with 431 eligible players in March; the teams were given a salary cap of $133 Million – which is $10 Million more than the previous year. Many teams made adjustments to increase the space under their cap.

Cornerback, Darrelle Revis left the Tampa Bay Buccaneers & was welcomed by the New England Patriots. Wide Receivers, DeSean Jackson (Eagles to Redskins) & Steve Smith (Panthers to Ravens) both will be catching passes somewhere new & Defensive End, Jared Allen will be playing for his former rival The Chicago Bears after spending 6 seasons with the Minnesota Vikings. This one in particular hit home…& I blogged about it.

Who’s excited for some rookies?

The 2014 NFL Draft was held in New York City just as it has been since 1965 on May 8th through the 10th. It was later than usual this year due to a scheduling conflict at Radio City Music Hall.

The number one overall pick of the 2014 draft went to Defensive End Jadeveon Clowney from the University of South Carolina chosen by the Houston Texans; Clowney was 2012 Defensive Player of the Year. In the 7th round the St. Louis Rams welcomed the first openly gay player to be drafted into the NFL – Defensive End, Michael Sam.

The teams who walked away with some of the best draft grades include the Houston Texans, Jacksonville Jaguars & the Cleveland Browns. Speaking of the Browns – does anyone else feel pretty uncertain of Quarterback, Johnny Manziel? I certainly wouldn’t want my new rookie quarterback partying with Justin Bieber…but hey… that’s just me.

There are some new rules & regulations coming to the 2014 NFL this season.

  • When defensive fouls occur this year – the next play will resume from it’s previous, original position rather than the place of the foul.
  • Since 1974 the goal post has been 30 feet high, this will be risen to 35 feet.
  • Also, in regards to the goal post, thanks to New Orleans Saint Tight-End, Jimmy Graham – any player who chooses to celebrate with the goal post will be penalized 15 yards. Last year, Graham bent a goal post while celebrating a touchdown against the Atlanta Falcons in week 12.
  • Because of few disputed replay reviews last year, referee’s will be able to communicate with the command center during replay reviews this year.

There are 6 Sunday’s remaining before the start of a new season, where hopes can be high for everyone; every team starts out undefeated.

Households will have the aroma of charcoal, beer & brats by ten o’clock in the morning. Football families* will be walking through front doors – proudly covered in their team’s attire. High fives will be had by many.

The 95th season of the National Football League kicks off this year when The Superbowl champions, the Seattle Seahawks host the Green Bay Packers on Thursday September 4, 2014

*Football Families: People that come over every Sunday, who never knock & always bring food.

Sig