Negative 20 Degrees? No Big Deal.

Will someone please start a petition for us folks over here in the tundra? I would, but… it seems like it could be a lot of work.

[via: eatpraywod.blogspot.com]
[via: eatpraywod.blogspot.com]
When it feels like -20 degrees, we should have the right to stay in the houses we’re paying to heat. If the weather man is acknowledging that the air… outside my [heated] house has potential to cause hypothermia – I do not care if the actual temperature is 3 degrees.

If you pay for short-term disability, I suggest you talk to your employer about utilizing that.

I’m thinking about trying to get a doctor’s note or something; it’s causing me pain. Leaving anywhere to go anywhere, when it’s this cold requires a pep talk…

It’s not that cold.    

[That’s it.]

Swing the door open, instantly my face hurts. My eyeballs attempt to adapt to the frigid

Me: If I was William H. Macy [via: giphy.com]
breeze & my cheeks are burning. The next thing that happens? Every single particle of warmness is sucked out of my body, throwing my lungs into shock. It never fails; I gasp like I just got sucker-punched. I love the relief of seeing the vehicle I’m quickly trekking to

…so I can get inside, where it’s ALSO FREEZING

My lower back starts to cramp up from hunching over like a little old lady; shivering just to make my blood move around. If I’m getting sore – please tell me I’m burning some serious calories in the process. Don’t even get me started talking about if I forget to empty my bladder before getting slapped with the -20 degrees; it’s like… an instant emergency.

I hate seeing people run outside when it’s like this. I will admit, I may be ignorant about winter running and this is coming from pure jealousy of the motivation, but…

Seriously… stop it. You can take a day off. 

I have dreams nightmares – if I don’t run into Target fast enough, my nose falls off from pure coldness & nothing more; slides right off. Does anyone in Alabama wake up to that?!

My Resting Bitch Face Sister: Kristen Stewart, Says…No. [Via: giphy.com]
They don’t. Why do I live here?