Hump Day Humor #14

In case you were unaware – Today is Arnold Palmer’s 85th birthday. I’m not much of a golf fan – but I do love lemonade & ice tea mixed together – so thank you for that, Mr. Palmer. 

In honor – I’ve decided to wish him a Happy Birthday with some golf humor for this edition of Hump Day Humor.

awkward

 “Oh hey…Congrats!…………..juuust kidding – I’ll wait.”

 idiot

This guy is an idiot. Everyone knows you need to check behind you before you swing a golf club…Just because the ball is soft the club is still real…and that girl can tell ya all about it.

.ownstyle

 Everyone has there own style – if it works for him…good.

  whataretheodds

 What are the odds, really?

whoaaa

 I have no idea what’s going on here – but they will never let that guy live that down – and rightfully so.

savetheday

Every golfing group should have a well versed golf cart driver to take over when things get outta control… I hear a few of them work for the NFL.

whoops

 As if he wasn’t already embarrassed enough by his initial terrible shot…

Thats a trophy

It’s a trophy you sickos – she’s obviously very good.

happygilmre

 Happy Birthday, Arnold Palmer.

arnold palmer

Hump Day Humor #13

Perhaps you don’t believe in superstitions and you are never graced with bad luck…. I’m sure you’re really awesome.

I, on the other hand… am familiar with luck that’s not good & I sometimes give credit to false beliefs.

Seeing as this is my #13 Hump Day Humor post, I’ve chosen to go down the unlucky path & make you guys laugh with some other people’s misfortune……………which is usually a pretty good time.

giphy

Good news: Builds character. However, this kid is unlucky to have him for dad.

trip

That guy… is a hilarious jerk & I bet they’re still friends…so, don’t hate him and appreciate the laugh.

catcantjump

If I was a cat – this would be me. White girl (& orange tabby cats) can’t jump.

strippergiffallfail

Girls…even if you’re really talented on the pole – you should not be a stripper. Bad things always happen to strippers.

tuckandroll

Maybe try lifting weights instead of stripping… But, don’t get crazy like this girl… I’m glad she tucked & rolled (& slid). She managed to do that pretty gracefully.

sexymotorcyclegirlfail

I hate it when I am trying to be sexy & my prop knocks me over.

DIDNTTRYTOJUMP

This guy was unlucky…because he didn’t even try. That is the laziest attempt at a hop I’ve ever seen. That’s what you get.

SEGWAYFAIL

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha … This is why I have never been on a Segway.

So yeah…Hope your Wednesday is luckier than all that.

Hump Day Humor #12

I’m not ashamed to tell anyone that my first love had a mullet. I didn’t only attend his concert. I was that 8 or 9 year old girl who thought she had a chance; Jean skirt, sparkly cowboy boots & of course…the hat. Perhaps someday I’ll share the photographic evidence.

…Billy Ray Cyrus…

billy-ray-cyrus-feature
…..sigh…..

When I found out he was married… I [ugly-girl] cried.

tumblr_myh31ynyKm1skbh71o1_500

Why am I telling you this? Well… the other day (at the bowling alley, of course…) I saw the following:

mullettman
Disclaimer: This is the first time I have ever taken a picture of a stranger…all creepy like.

With all that being said….Let’s pay tribute to some pretty outstanding mullets, shall we?

unbelievamull
It’s hard to believe this wasn’t an accident…Do you suppose it’s shaved all the way around?
http://portraited.com/
…Yes, even girls can have mullets.
The Dreamy Mullet
The Dreamy Mullet
The Rocker Mullet
The Rocker Mullet
The most epic child mullet I've ever laid my eyes on...
The most epic child mullet I’ve ever laid my eyes on…
The Mullet Family
The Mullet Family (& I changed my mind…THIS is the most epic child mullet I’ve ever seen.)
I couldn't decide...so it's my pleasure to introduce Mullet Family #2
I couldn’t decide…so it’s my pleasure to introduce Mullet Family #2.

I could go on & I don’t even think anyone would mind.

But…

team mullet

 Happy Wednesday!

Sig

 

 

 

Writing Calendar, Writing Opportunities & Writing Madness

When I made the decision to start a blog…I’ll be honest… I had no clue what “blogging” all entailed. I jumped in very uneducated but with an open mind. I thought, I have some things to say – and I believe some people might agree with me & who knows?… Maybe people could enjoy it, even if they don’t. I’ve written before about how awesome this whole community is. I’ve made amazing friendships, I’ve challenged myself to try new styles of writing & been given a pretty awesome opportunity. 

Which brings me here…

I’m so excited to share that I have been asked to be the Minnesota Vikings writer for the website, Onside Chick. Football season is quickly approaching – and I couldn’t be anymore ready for it. I will be contributing to the website by writing Minnesota Viking’s game recaps & game predictions for my men in purple. My first article, about the new Minnesota Vikings Stadium was posted last week & I’m feeling [unusually] proud of myself. I’m super stoked to be part of a group of girls who love football. This website is a place where ladies (or men…I suppose) can go if they want to learn more about the game, get weekly updates on any team, player injury updates, receive some fantasy football tips….you get the idea. Go check ‘er out!

In other news… I discovered Google Docs this week. Why have I never explored this before?! Why has no one told me to peek in there and see what it’s all about? If I had to place the blame somewhere, I guess I’d put it on Google+. I do not know a single person who utilizes Google+ & I’m assuming I’ve just been throwing all the other Google “apps” in with it. Outta sight – outta mind.

So, anyway… Google Docs.

I found a pretty spectacular Blogging Calendar Template. It pretty much looks exactly like what I’ve been trying to come up with on my own for the past month. Literally, I just clicked “open” …and there it was. A fully completed editorial calendar (even nicely colored)…ready for my ideas to fill the spaces. I’m a bit annoyed it took this long – but I’m happy to say that I officially have a schedule for my writing & I’d like to share it with you…not so much because I know you’re just dying to know, but more so to hold myself accountable. 

Mondays

stfu

I tend to be a bit more bitter on Mondays (as most people do)…in honor of that bitterness I’ve decided that I am going to dedicate this day to Seriously, STFU. If you’d like to check out past, STFU Posts…

Seriously, STFU: Dear Fatty Edition

Seriously, STFU : Botched Execution Edition

Tuesdays

images

I’m a mom & I think I’m a pretty good one. My son is a 7 year old redheaded spitfire who gives me things to write about for days. If you’d like to check out past parenthood posts…

The Tooth Fairy Gives Cash Bonus’ For Pain & Bad Decisions.

Bittersweet Independence 

I Created A Human

Wednesdays

funny-hump-day-camel-ad1

I’m sticking with my Hump Day Humor. Hump Day is a day to celebrate and be happy that we’ve almost made it through another week.  If You’d like to check out past, Hump Day Humor Posts…

Hump Day Humor #1

Hump Day Humor #5

Hump Day Humor #10

Thursdays

nfl-logo

Did you know that I love football? I wasn’t sure if I’d mentioned that yet…I do not only love my Minnesota Vikings – but the entire NFL as a whole makes my world go round. My blog would not be complete without a day dedicated to the sport. I plan to provide you with some lovely NFL Goodness. If you’d like to check out past NFL Goodness Posts…

Minnesota Vikings 2014-2015 Season – Let’s Keep The Glass Half Full

5 Reasons Why I Love Football (& Why More Ladies Should)

Dear Mr. Brett Favre

Fridays

funeral

My last Hump Day Humor focused on me hopping back onto my healthy train. I’ve been working out daily, tracking my grub on My Fitness Pal (which is a spectacular resource by the way…) & I’m going to dedicate Fridays to #FridayFitness. I’m by no means a health nut, nor do I claim to always make the healthiest choices. I’m just a working mama trying to stick around as long as possible… 

Saturdays & Sundays

Picture-26-300x193

The weekend will be for nothing but pure randomness. I’ve been dabbling in some creative writing, short stories, poetry…and sometimes I just have some opinions that don’t fit here or there. 

I want to make sure I am prepared for this writing schedule, so I plan to go live with it Monday July 21, 2014. Drafts are being written and I’m starting to feel like a real blogger.

…fancy that. 

Sig

Hump Day Humor #11

This week…I have jumped back onto my fitness train.

[Choo Choooo – I’m so hungry]

A while back I actually gave some friendly tips on how to gain excess weight……..if that’s what you want. I’m pretty darn good at it; some may even call me an expert.

Seeing how it’s not my expertise (yet), working out regularly & tracking my grub has me feeling some mixed emotions.

Here they are.
funny-fitness-quotes
Real Talk.
funny-fitness-W630
…stress eating – it happens to the best of us.
calories-300x300
Jerks.
Funny-fitness-pictures-weight-loss
If only it were that easy. …….Wait…… Was that weird?
a-Funny-fitness-pictures-nailed-it
Story of my life.
fitnessfunny43
That’s totally acceptable, right?
Funny-Fitness-McDs-W630
It’s a sad realization to be told…
bitching
Goodness – This post wouldn’t even exist if bitching burned calories. Who would give a flying … duck about fitness?

We made it to another Wednesday… Congratulations.