A Year’s Worth of Properly Ridiculous

One year ago I signed up for WordPress & published my first post 6 days later.

In this span of time, I’ve managed to convince 683 people to keep an eye on it. I watched that number go up and down quite a bit – depending on what was being ranted, raved or praised. I’ve monitored the traffic behind it all, almost to a fault.

I’ve watched my writing progress & change. I’ve explored different styles; wrote my very first fiction & followed with a few more.  I attempted to make sense of crazy trials, news stories, missing planes, made my fear of Ebola known & told a whole-lotta people to STFU.

I struggled through my ridiculous anxiety, and learned how to curb it. Later in the year, listened to an audio book that rocked my socks off & told everyone to just go out and follow your own arrow. I Attempted to explain resting bitch face … In turn, I was kinda bitchy about smoking & littering.

I’ve documented my son growing up, his continuing crush on the Tooth Fairy … & when he tried to plunge the toilet with a towel. Yeah, It Happened. I’m so happy it’s written down & saved for his future girlfriends.

Since I’m obviously a professional, I shared the wealth of knowledge and told you how to raise your kids also.

I made my love for football well known. Wrote a few open letters to Jared Allen & Brett Favre. Stuck up for Adrian Peterson & Ray Rice, called out ignorant football fans & directly told the entire NFL to get it together.

I turned thirty and intentionally have not changed my About Me page to reflect that; Properly Ridiculous will forever be, pushing 30. It’s been a good year & next will be better.

Thank you, 683 people who validate my lack of a filter.

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First Preseason Recap: Minnesota Vikings

It was a beautiful evening for some Preseason Football at TCF Stadium in Minneapolis where the Minnesota Vikings will call home for the next 2 years while their New Stadium is constructed.

Adrian Peterson who hasn’t played in a preseason game since 2011 was suited up on the sidelines – looking all beastly like. We’ll have to wait to watch him make any plays…but there were plenty of other players who can be highlighted from last nights game.

Matt Cassel completed 5 out of 6 passes for 62 yards. As it’s the first preseason game of the year…I’m not disappointed or excited about that – but I’m certainly not upset.

Cassel completed a pass to familiar face Kyle Rudolph for an almost touchdown – but was stopped at the 1 yard line. Rudolph, who has lost a noticeable amount of weight is looking good; I’m expecting to see him do some fancy stuff this season. If you want to read more about Mr. Rudolph slimming down & preparing for the season you can do that: Here.

27 year old running back, Matt Asiata made it into the end zone for the only touchdown of the night from the one yard line. He had 3 carries for 13 yards – which doesn’t sound as awesome as it was to watch. His excitement & obvious hunger for greatness is what makes it fun to see.

Any time you can come down and score on your first drive, that’s what you’re trying to accomplish.

-Matt Cassel 

Well gosh…isn’t that the truth.

While a pretty sharp Cassell clearly outplayed Teddy Bridgewater, our rookie took the Vikings another 10 plays, and set up a 30-yard field goal by Kicker, Blair Walsh. Bridgewater’s debut had it’s ups & downs: 6 for 13 for 49 yards, two sacks and one fumble that Matt Kalil recovered for the Vikings.

There were a couple times in the game where he just didn’t act like a veteran. Things happened that he hadn’t seen before. So those are all great experiences for him. But he made some great throws.

-Head Coach, Mike Zimmer

The upside is that Bridgewater is not a veteran…He’s a rookie; time is on his (and Viking’s Fans) side.

Let’s talk about Wide Receiver, Adam Thielen who was wired for sound during the game. I know I said previously that Matt Asiata looked excited & hungry…but, Thielen was pumped last night. His punt returns were very well done & I do not think he has to worry about being on the practice squad this year; He wants to play & it shows.

Um Hi…Cordarrelle Patterson? He is going to be special this year & He knows it.

No one is going to touch me this year.

-Cordarrelle Patterson 

The Raider’s cornerbacks had a hard time keeping up with him last night; I won’t be surprised when that’s a regular thing regardless who the Vikings are playing.

Rookie Anthony Barr put the first quarter to rest by laying out Matt Schwab as the quarter came to an end…which has me thinking, Jared, Who? 

Mike Zimmer has a defensive approach that is much different than what Viking’s fans are used to; He tends to rotate multiple guys who can get 4+ sacks – rather than the one powerhouse (i.e. Jared).

To see what Coach, Mike Zimmer had to say to his team after the game, Click Here.

I am the first to acknowledge that preseason football is just that…preseason. It may seem premature but I have high hopes.

Our rookies did not disappoint & I think this is the start of something pretty dramatic. The Minnesota Vikings have made notable changes & are moving in the right direction; it seems it’s been a while since we’ve witnessed substantial movement that isn’t backwards.

In the 3rd quarter of the game, players on the bench were mouthing to commentator & former Minnesota Vikings, Ben Lieber about how many points their going to score this year.

Superbowl bound? Who knows…but…

Why Not Us?

Check out the NFL website I get the pleasure of writing for this season Here.

Also…Real Quick… Jersey Sweaters. Yeah….they’re exactly what you think they are – and they’re adorable. Even better…you can use coupon code: onsidechick for $10 dollars off! 

ESPN Team Stat Comparison:

OAK
MIN
1st Downs 16 17
Passing 1st downs
9 10
Rushing 1st downs
5 4
1st downs from penalties
2 3
3rd down efficiency
4-13 6-16
4th down efficiency
1-1 0-0
Total Plays 61 66
Total Yards 268 236
Yards per play 4.4 3.6
Total Drives 12 11
Passing 182 109
Comp-Att
24-41 14-26
Yards per pass
4.2 3.4
Interceptions thrown
1 0
Sacks-Yards Lost
2-3 6-41
Rushing 86 127
Rushing Attempts
18 34
Yards per rush
4.8 3.7
Red Zone (Made-Att) 1-1 1-2
Penalties 13-94 5-25
Turnovers 1 0
Fumbles lost
0 0
Interceptions thrown
1 0
Defensive / Special Teams TDs 0 0
Possession 25:54 34:06

Passing Leaders

OAK C/ATT YDS AVG TD INT SACKS
McGloin 11/18 90 5.0 0 0 0-0
Carr 10/16 74 4.6 0 1 1-0
MIN C/ATT YDS AVG TD INT SACKS
Cassel 5/6 62 10.3 0 0 1-5
Bridgewater 6/13 49 3.8 0 0 2-16

Rushing Leaders

OAK CAR YDS AVG TD LG
Murray 7 28 4.0 0 7
McFadden 1 23 23.0 0 23
MIN CAR YDS AVG TD LG
McKinnon 12 45 3.8 0 12
Williams 9 27 3.0 0 8

Receiving Leaders

OAK REC YDS AVG TD LG
Butler 4 44 11.0 0 15
Jenkins 4 36 9.0 0 13
MIN REC YDS AVG TD LG
Patterson 3 38 12.7 0 17
Higgins 2 27 13.5 0 17

Scoring Summary

FIRST QUARTER OAK MIN
min TD 8:27 Matt Asiata 1 Yd Run (Blair Walsh Kick)

Drive info: 10 plays, 70 yds, 5:28
0 7
min FG 0:54 Blair Walsh 30 Yd Field Goal

Drive info: 10 plays, 42 yds, 5:28
0 10
FOURTH QUARTER OAK MIN
oak TD 1:25 Matt McGloin 10 Yd Run (Two-Point Pass Conversion Failed)

Drive info: 9 plays, 56 yds, 2:32
6 10

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Hang In There: Another NFL Off-Season Is Almost Behind Us

Most devoted NFL fans are able to agree that there’s pretty much only one upside to the end of a football season:

You mean there’s another day of weekend that is open for activities?

I hope you’ve enjoyed leaving the house on Sundays for the past few months…while you were out, here are some things that happened.

Free agency started out with 431 eligible players in March; the teams were given a salary cap of $133 Million – which is $10 Million more than the previous year. Many teams made adjustments to increase the space under their cap.

Cornerback, Darrelle Revis left the Tampa Bay Buccaneers & was welcomed by the New England Patriots. Wide Receivers, DeSean Jackson (Eagles to Redskins) & Steve Smith (Panthers to Ravens) both will be catching passes somewhere new & Defensive End, Jared Allen will be playing for his former rival The Chicago Bears after spending 6 seasons with the Minnesota Vikings. This one in particular hit home…& I blogged about it.

Who’s excited for some rookies?

The 2014 NFL Draft was held in New York City just as it has been since 1965 on May 8th through the 10th. It was later than usual this year due to a scheduling conflict at Radio City Music Hall.

The number one overall pick of the 2014 draft went to Defensive End Jadeveon Clowney from the University of South Carolina chosen by the Houston Texans; Clowney was 2012 Defensive Player of the Year. In the 7th round the St. Louis Rams welcomed the first openly gay player to be drafted into the NFL – Defensive End, Michael Sam.

The teams who walked away with some of the best draft grades include the Houston Texans, Jacksonville Jaguars & the Cleveland Browns. Speaking of the Browns – does anyone else feel pretty uncertain of Quarterback, Johnny Manziel? I certainly wouldn’t want my new rookie quarterback partying with Justin Bieber…but hey… that’s just me.

There are some new rules & regulations coming to the 2014 NFL this season.

  • When defensive fouls occur this year – the next play will resume from it’s previous, original position rather than the place of the foul.
  • Since 1974 the goal post has been 30 feet high, this will be risen to 35 feet.
  • Also, in regards to the goal post, thanks to New Orleans Saint Tight-End, Jimmy Graham – any player who chooses to celebrate with the goal post will be penalized 15 yards. Last year, Graham bent a goal post while celebrating a touchdown against the Atlanta Falcons in week 12.
  • Because of few disputed replay reviews last year, referee’s will be able to communicate with the command center during replay reviews this year.

There are 6 Sunday’s remaining before the start of a new season, where hopes can be high for everyone; every team starts out undefeated.

Households will have the aroma of charcoal, beer & brats by ten o’clock in the morning. Football families* will be walking through front doors – proudly covered in their team’s attire. High fives will be had by many.

The 95th season of the National Football League kicks off this year when The Superbowl champions, the Seattle Seahawks host the Green Bay Packers on Thursday September 4, 2014

*Football Families: People that come over every Sunday, who never knock & always bring food.

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Bad News Bears

I fully understand that the National Football League is a business. It revolves around money – just like the rest of the world.

With that being said, I cannot believe Jared Allen signed with the Chicago Bears.

The Chicago Bears?! Really, Jared?! C’mon…I can’t buy a Bears jersey!

Jared Allen signing a 4 year deal with the Chicago Bears is comparative to if my husband cheated on me with my trashy cousin (I do not have any trashy cousins…but, if I did).

I knew he was a free agent. I knew the chances of Him staying a Minnesota Viking were slim to none – but, I was not prepared for this. There was zero chit chat about Him being in contact with the Chicago Bears. None. I don’t like unexpected news – especially so early in the morning; especially when its news that I don’t like.

Ahhh, what a beauuuutiful day – already Wednesday…it’s going to be a great……….wait………..what?

BAM!

Jared Allen is a Chicago Bear. If not the entire day, at minimum my morning & early afternoon are shot.

I feel like he just broke up with me; He gave me the – It’s not you it’s me speech & in this hypothetical breakup we are trying to work out, I agreed. It’s Him.

This was us - when we were happy.
This was us – when we were happy.

Ideally, He would have gone to Seattle – I was prepared for that. I was ready to purchase a Seattle Seahawks Jared Allen jersey. I recently stomached watching three former Minnesota Vikings get super bowl rings there; I would have understood.

Jared…I thought you wanted a Championship?

The Chicago Bears made a good move (for their organization). Replacing Julius Peppers with Jared Allen – it makes sense. That’s the only positive thing I will say. It’s not positive for me – because I will never cheer for the Bears.

Ever.

The sad reality is this. I can no longer be a fan of Jared Allen – the football player.

There will always be a special place in my heart for Jared Allen – the person. I hope Chicago Bears Fans appreciate the talent they just received & that He is treated kind. I wish nothing but the best (except wins) for my favorite former favorite football player.

Who is going to replace him? Who is going to be my favorite? …I just don’t know. 😦

For now, I will commit to saying that my favorite Minnesota Viking is Mike Zimmer.

Footnote: Originally, I planned on writing an open letter. But, I don’t currently feel like speaking to Him. If any of you see or converse with Mr. Allen, please mention that I’ll be okay.

Dear Mr. Jared Allen

Dear Jared,

I know you’re not on a first name basis with me, but…I am with you.

I’ve been thinking; if other teams aren’t willing to dole out the cash you want  – I think it’s best if you just stay a Viking. I’ll continue to be hopeful.

…Until you’re in Seattle with the Percy, Tarvaris & Sidney.

Then, with all hope gone of seeing you back in Purple…I’ll cheer for you in Green.

Love,

Jen

(You can be on a first name basis with me also, if you want).