Lies I’ve Told

I’m a liar, but let’s be honest, so are you.

If you told me you’re not a fibber, I wouldn’t believe you. I consider myself to be a bit of a recovering liar, I’ve become way more truthful in my thirties, but these little ones always seem to skate by.

I’ll be there by [enter time here].

Can’t wait!

Exercising on a regular basis starts tomorrow morning.

I’m going to start watching my mouth.

I’ll call you back.

I know, I totally agree!

Next week Tuesday? Yeah, I’d love to hang out.

No naps today.

Gosh, I wish the rain would stop so we could go outside.

I’m going to set goals and finish [insert anything here] in a timely manner.

I’m going to bed early tonight.

I actually really enjoy eating healthy.

I understand.

This is not vodka, it’s water. 

I’m late because [enter any excuse here].

I totally heard you, I was just thinking about it.

Wasn’t me.

I was just joking…

I’m on my way.


I have no idea who said that.

I am going to finish my book by the end of summer.

Don’t worry about it, we’re cool.

I didn’t say anything…

Let’s go out for one, but I’m not getting drunk tonight.

I’m going to get all my laundry done and put away today.

I support you no matter what.

We’re gonna get school supplies shopping done early this year.

This is a judgment-free zone.

I don’t have anything to wear.

I didn’t get that text.

I don’t know that person.

I’ve never stalked [insert anyone I’ve ever encountered] on social media.

It’s just a guilty pleasure [that I feel no guilt over whatsoever].

I’m not going to eat this entire frozen pizza.

I don’t lie.

“I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It’s awful. If I’m on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I’m going, I’m liable to say I’m going to the opera. It’s terrible.” 
― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

Rachel Dolezal Says & I Respond

Rachel Dolezal’s face has been plastered all over the internet, making her story nearly unavoidable.


I was drawing self-portraits with the brown crayon instead of the peach crayon, and black curly hair.

Look at the girl on the right [the white one]. Rachel apparently thinks we’re stupid or something… That girl, in the doiley ruffle collared top? Drawing herself as black since five years old?

I find it hard to believe. Rachel Dolezal sat down with Matt Lauer on the Today Show and gosh, I sure do wish I was there to respond to some of the things she said.

I wasn’t, so I’ll do it here instead.

I Identify as Black

That’s great; more power to ya, Rach. If that was all it came down to… the entire nation wouldn’t be talking about you over drinks and dinner though.

Identifying as black, and claiming to be black – are two very different things. Wear your hair as you please… darken your skin all you want; doing those things do not require deceit. Identifying as black does not require you to come up with an elaborate back story, either.

I really don’t see why they’re [my parents] are in such a rush to whitewash some of the work that I have done and who I am and how I have identified…

I don’t think anyone is “whitewashing” the work you’ve done… [kind of an ironic choice word]. I’m sure the things you accomplished while holding your position within the NAACP are duly noted and appreciated.

All your parents need to say is that they are your parents. Actually, they don’t even need to say anything – if they stand with a sign that say: “Rachel Dolezal’s Parents”… we’re all going to know you’re Caucasian. They are white.

They said you’ve been claiming to be something you are not…which is technically true. Your parents, like the rest of the nation seem to be a bit confused.

There are probably a couple of interviews that I would do differently if circumstances, in retrospect, I knew what I know now… but overall, my life has been one of survival and the decisions that I have made along the way, including my identification, have been to survive and to carry forward in my journey and life continuum.

While that’s a lovely distraction and well stated idea… I don’t buy it.

I am also trying to survive, Rachel. Me,  the person who applied your weave and everyone F***ING ELSE. When a person is born, we’re all on a mission to survive & we’re all survivors of our own situation. The severity of the situation is a minor detail – when you, ma’am are the first one to bring up that we’re all just human.

‘You’re my real mom.’ [Said Izaiah] And he’s in high school, and for that to be something that is plausible, I certainly can’t be seen as white and be Izaiah’s mom…

Angelina Jolie, Sandra Bullock & Madonna…  amazingly, they are all successfully raising black children… and they’re still white. On a more serious note, what an asinine thing to say. The relationship between a mother and son – biological or not…black, white or purple… should not be defined by what other people think of it. Plausible? By questioning it, you’re the one making it seem less than legit.

Overall…this wouldn’t even be news if she wasn’t such a liar – media and normal, everyday people like you and I feed off this shit. If Rachel Dolezal has taught me anything… it’s that honesty is always the best policy [if you don’t want to be nationally humiliated].

I’m Sick Of Your Lies, Facebook


When will Facebook just offer a paid version that I can pay for and not have to look at these stupid suggested posts?

Facebook suggested to me that Miranda Lambert & Blake Shelton are having issues… by showing me two pictures that are entirely unrelated. Don’t quote me on this, but the picture of Miranda? It looks like she’s at an awards show – crying tears of joy because she just won an award. Blake Shelton? It looks like he’s watching someone sing on The Voice & he’s unhappy with what he hears.

I’m all for celebrity drama.

if you’re going to force it upon me…

please, make me believe it.

[or let me opt out]