It’s Duck Duck GREY DUCK, and yes, it’s serious.

I’m a transplant from Minnesota living in Wisconsin. I traded the 45-minute-traffic-filled city commute to work for the smell of manure on a hot summer day. Is it strange that I would rather smell animal dung than sit in traffic?  Each are gross for their own special reasons – but, if I had to pick one…

After years, it may appear that I’ve come full circle but there are still a few Wisconsin-isms that make me shake my head. The fountain that provides drinking water is called just that. It is a drinking fountain – I will also accept, water fountain. The good people of Wisconsin call this thing a, bubbler and I don’t like it.

It does not bubble and if you ask me a bubbler sounds like something British people would call the toilet. Fact: Toilets bubble more than drinking fountains.

Yet another, the stickers that you put on your license plate that show you’ve paid your dues? I call those, tabs. Found out that was a Minnesota thing the first time I went to renew.

Hi, I’d like to to purchase the tabs for my car… 

The stare down began and it was clear she had no idea what I was talking about. I still call them tabs – only now I explain myself.

Now, for the most important one:

If anyone in Wisconsin wants to debate the “Duck Duck” game – I will fight you over this.

Probably not physically, I’m not much of an actual fighter but I will raise my voice. Why on earth would any child choose to play “Duck Duck Goose” over “Duck Duck Grey Duck”? I urge anyone that would argue that it is supposed to be, Duck Duck Goose to put yourself in the child’s shoes.

Minnesota: Red DuckBlue DuckGreen DuckOrange DuckGREY DUCK!!!

Everywhere Else: Duck….Duck…..Duck…..Duck….GOOSE. 

Who is going to argue with that? Try me. But, I doubt you feel as strongly about it as I do, so…maybe you should just keep that opinion to yourself.

Way to get it right, Minnesota!!

Wisconsin does win a few pretty substantial victories; I have been converted to saying, soda. I miss saying pop and it makes my heart a little sad that when I do say, pop – it seems a little off. I suppose that’s what happens when your primary source of income at the time of finding employment in Wisconsin is bartending & waiting tables.

You get a few looks …  you know the looks I speak of and you realize it’s just easier to say soda. You say tomato, I say tomaato; doesn’t really matter (except Duck Duck Grey Duck, that does indeed matter).

J is for Jared Allen

Sundays, on weekend visits with my dad I loved dozing off on the couch in the basement while he passionately watched the Vikings; there is still something nostalgic about falling asleep with NFL commentators giving their two cents in the background.

After I’d graduated high school, I stopped falling asleep and started paying attention. This new guy signed with the Vikings in 2008, sparking my interest more than the rest of the guys with tight pants and nice behinds – but(t) it had nothing to do with the attire or his derriere.

Maybe it was the mullet – after all, Billy Ray Cyrus was my first love.

billy-ray-cyrus-feature

There is something about watching defense players; manly men busting through an offensive line – slamming into the opposing teams quarterback? I love that shit and Jared Allen was good at it.

Before I asked many questions I assumed the wrangling of cattle move he would do after a sack was something very different – yet I enjoyed watching him pretend to be a jack-in-the-box. It made sense to me; those things can be scary. The quarterback has no idea when it’s going to happen and then, BAM!

Jared Celebration.gif

Jared Allen – all up in your shit – just like a jack-in-the-box.

He may be solely responsible for my fondness of the game. When I realized Jared Allen was the love of my football life is when my admiration for the game itself all fell together. Now…643 tackles, 136 quarterback sacks, 57 pass deflections, 6 interceptions,  31 forced fumbles and 4 safeties later – we say goodbye to Jared Allen on the football field.

Thankfully, I have experience with saying goodbye to this man – when he left me for the Bears I almost took it personally. He was supposed to go to the Seahawks – that was what I had planned and prepared for. When I heard the bad-news-bears I knew I’d have to say goodbye. How were we supposed to keep our Sundays together when he left me for something so ugly?  The Bears?! It’s just not in me to cheer for a Chicago Bear… ever.

We had to break up. 

I kept his wild-game cookbook I’d gotten for Christmas one year [with zero intentions of ever utilizing any of the recipes] displayed in my living room bookshelf, like a memorial; a reminder of the good times. Like any scorned ex, I was glad he didn’t excel in his new relationship. When that [dumb-never-should-have-happend] relationship ended? I  enthusiastically gave out high-fives, smiles and hugs.

Jared Allen announced his retirement back in February and I had an idea he’d come back to me – and he did.

jared
This was us – when we were happy.

Retired in purple, together again.


A to Z Challenge: Day Ten

An Open Letter To Stupid Viking Fans

Dear You,

You know who you are. You’re the one booing the second an interception is thrown or whenever the Vikings just don’t quite meet your expectations. I’ve been wanting to write this for quite some time; last Sunday we played the Packers and many of you showed your faces giving me the ammo I was waiting for. Our Vikes, being on a winning streak and all – I’m sure you expected them to do more than they did, right?

Twenty minutes south of Green Bay I watched the game from my house and could clearly hear roars of ‘GO-PACK-GO’ throughout the entire fourth quarter …because all of you stupid fans left. 

Did you not want to face the Packer fans? Can’t handle a little grief? Were you just that disgusted that you couldn’t bear to watch another second? Trying to beat the traffic? …All stupid reasons. I don’t give a flying shit what the score is with 8 minutes remaining in the fourth quarter… why are you leaving?!

Friendly Tip: Just don’t go. Save yourself the misery and fake fandom.

Listen, I’m not unreasonable. I also don’t enjoy being a Vikings fan 100% of the time, it’s not always fun. Hell, let’s be real, watching them kick ass in the first half only to be a completely different team when they come back from halftime sucks. I get it. Do you know what I hate more than even that, though?

Being associated with you stupid fans.

I live in Wisconsin – if there is one other Viking fan that’s in the general vicinity – we’re lumped together and I don’t appreciate it. The Vikings have the worst fans in the NFL (that could be an exaggeration… I didn’t look it up) and 79% of you only support them when they’re winning (another made up statistic).

We lost against the Packers… what about before that? The Vikings won five games in a row for the first time since 2009. We’re still playoff contenders. Our team is a talented group of guys with crazy potential and the coaching is finally where it needs to be. We play our biggest rival to defend the North Division and you let a bunch of Packer fans take over in your house. That’s gross.

While I think the Vikings deserve that new stadium… you stupid Viking fans do not. Maybe with the extra bells and whistles you’ll enjoy your time more. Meanwhile, I’m going to start drafting a letter to whoever is in charge over there – maybe they can work on some technology that can drown out your fairweather, wishy-washy-boos so the team… that you’re there to support don’t get distracted…by their fans. 

You’re dumb.

-A Non-Stupid Viking’s Fan.

SKOL.

 

Random Act Of Kindness: Ponder Edition

It has been quite some time since I’ve been able to jot down something good  about anyone on my squad of purple convicts…[Minnesota Vikings…if that’s not clear].

Here’s a story Minnesota Viking’s fans can be proud of.

A grieving father brought his two young daughters, Brianna and Emily to the mall a few weeks after their mother tragically passed away in an automobile accident.

He brought them to his late wife’s favorite store to purchase new headbands, trying to lift their spirits. While making their way through the mall, Brianna recognized a familiar face. Minnesota Viking Quarterback, Christian Ponder & his wife Samantha were also shopping at the mall that day.

The girls told The Ponders what brought them to the mall that day, chatted & took a photo.

via: cbs
via: cbs

What happened next is heartwarming. While the girls browsed, the Ponder’s got busy talking with the store manager. After while, the manager approached the family & told them that the girls could pick out whatever they wanted … at no cost to them. They did not put this families tab on theirs for publicity.They didn’t want to be the ones to tell the family of their generosity.

They did it because they are nice people.

giphy

Afterwards, when each girl walked out with a personally tailored outfit – Brianna said:

I’d tell him thank you for what you did, and that I felt like my mom was doing this.

Class act… that Mr. Ponder & his lady.

via: twincities.com
via: twincities.com

Onside Chick: Vikings Vs. Packers Prediction

The last time the Minnesota Vikings and the Green Bay Packers dueled, it ended in a 26-26 tie. Prediction: That will not happen again… 

Offensively Speaking…

The Minnesota Vikings have a lot to be excited about after Sunday’s win against the Falcons.  Rookie QB, Teddy Bridgewater threw for 317 yards and ran five times for 27 more. His calm demeanor and mature movement in the pocket, certainly doesn’t scream, Rookie! 

Teddy Bridgewater
via: espn

As good of a game as it was for the Vikings on Sunday – Let’s not forget that the Green Bay Packers are 7-1-1 in their last nine games against the Vikings at home &… they do not need stellar performances by a rookie quarterback to get their fans excited; they have Aaron Rogers – who recently told fans:

R-E-L-A-X…He’s got this.

Aaron Rogers
via: espn

Since Adrian Peterson has been out dealing with his legal woes, Viking running backs Matt Asiata and Jerick McKinnon have had a good run… (pun intended).  McKinnon exploded out of the backfield for 135 yards last week and Asiata added three rushing touchdowns against the Falcons. This week, these two get to go against the less than stellar Green Bay defense – who has given up 175 yards on the ground… per game.

matt-asiata-teddy-bridgewater-nfl-atlanta-falcons-minnesota-vikings fansided com
via: fansided.com

Packers running back, Eddie Lacy rushed into the end-zone for the first time this year securing 1 out of the 4 touchdowns Green Bay scored against the Chicago Bears last Sunday.  It’s safe to say, Green Bay may not a running team… but they don’t need to be to get a win.

via: blacksportsonline.com
via: blacksportsonline.com

Because, the Packers have him & Jordy Nelson… & Randall Cobb.

Defensively Speaking…

The Minnesota Viking’s overall #1 pick, Linebacker Anthony Barr seems to know what he’s doing with 2 sacks so far & Free Safety, Harrison Smith made his intentions clear in the 4th quarter against the Falcons by sealing the the Viking’s win with an interception.

via: zimbio.com
via: zimbio.com

The Packers defense has struggled this season, but they managed to hold their own against the typically high scoring Bears offense last week. The packers have key players on their defense like Clay Matthews who intercepted Jay Cutler & Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix who had 5 tackles, all on his own last week.

via: sportingnews.com
via: sportingnews.com
Prediction:

It pains me to say this as a Minnesota Viking Fan…but, I have to be honest. The combination of playing at Lambeau Field & Teddy’s minor ankle setback… I can not sit here and say I think The Vikings will come out victorious.

Green Bay Packers:  34
Minnesota Vikings: 27

I’m expecting Mr. Rogers to sling the ball & connect a few times. I mean, obviously…

I think Mr. Bridgewater’s game will be less smooth than his game against the Falcons. If he can stay as collected as last week & the offensive line continues to protect him though…

Who knows?

[Skol]

One more prediction…

via: allgbp.com
via: allgbp.com

We will see this.

Fun Fact: The Packers–Vikings rivalry is noted for being very balanced. In the first 97 meetings, the total offensive yardage, points scored, wins, turnovers, and time of possession are all within 5% of each other; these are the closest margins for a rivalry longer than 15 years. 


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