Every day we log into social media and browse our friends, and not actual friends, highlight reels. I’m guilty, so instead, today I’m going to share some real life shit. Because I like to revile in minor failures and less than desirable realities on occasion.
The one day of the year your kid puts some work in for the family, supplying the household with delicious treats to feast on after they go to bed. Even if you don’t have kids, eat as much candy as possible – it’s a free pass for like a week at least.
I have one child, a ten-year-old. He’s pretty much the coolest kid I know, but if we’re being honest there are still days, a decade later, that I want to rip my hair out simply because parenting is hard.
We’ve transitioned from little-kid-parenting into big-kid-parenting and apparently, it doesn’t ever get easier…the worries, responsibilities, and back talk just change.
So, without further a due, just take a second to laugh about it.
I don’t know if I love to hate it, or if I hate to love it more. It’s so expensive. I’ve resorted to nasty ass dollar tree shit at times, and not always because I couldn’t afford the “cheap” cover girl mascara – that’s still ten fucking dollars – out of just straight protest. Wwwhhhyyyy do I have to drop $50 for three items?
Ugh, I hate it.
But I love how a swipe of bronzer on my cheek feels more. It’s clearly a messed up relationship.
I take no credit for coming up with any of this hilarity, only for sharing it with you.
Where’s all your money? All over my face.
It almost always starts and ends this way. Well, I already went a little far, where’s my purple lipstick?
Eyeliner makes me feel badass but putting eyeliner on is a bitch. “I’m fucking left handed, why do i always fuck up my left god damn eye?!That’s a real question I ask myself every…single…time.
Lipstick is kinda my jam. A friend once told me: The brighter the lipstick, the less you’ll have to repeat yourself. Career waitress here, I tell my husband the dressing choices in my sleep. I also wear blinding lipstick.