I love Marshawn Lynch, and I don’t care who knows.

He’s not everyone’s cup of tea, I get it. He’s stubborn, hot-headed, and to be frank – he gives no fucks. I can’t help but like the guy for that. Marshawn Lynch is one of the most intriguing people in the NFL, even if he’s terrible for fantasy football, (lesson learned).

Do I agree with everything he does? No. Do I expect to change anyone’s mind about this guy? Nope. I do, however, think he’s a touch misunderstood. I’ll give you four reasons I love the guy, try to be open-minded.

#1

After being ejected from Thursday’s game against the Chiefs he watched from the stands, and then took a train home.

I’m still mad about it too, Marshawn.

He was ejected from the game. Everyone thought he left, but there he is hanging out with Raider Nation until the (really insane, crazy) end. AND THEN TOOK THE TRAIN HOME!

#2

Um, he’s an amazing running back? Obviously. Anyone with the nickname: Beastmode has my love. Not really… but it seemed like the right thing to say. Marshawn has my love though because watching him play football is serious entertainment.

#3

He hates Donald Trump, just like me.

I love him. I love him. I love him.

#4

He is who he is, unapologetically, and I don’t believe in faulting people for that.

Everyone knows about the I’m just here so I don’t get fined deal. Me? I thought it was hilarious. I enjoyed it more everytime he said it, and it never got old. I’m not sure if I could have physically rolled my eyes any harder at people who were offended or on their high horse, “It’s part of the job” bullshit. He doesn’t care, neither should you.

We don’t get any more interview time than you get with him. He doesn’t talk with us and doesn’t talk to you really. On this football team, and all teams, there are people that are more available than other people because they’re comfortable with that.

Seattle Seahawks coach, Pete Carroll

So, say what you’d like about the guy… I’ll be over here waiting for more Marshawn madness on the field, and off – cause I love it.

I ain’t got nothing to say. I just wanna play football.

-Marshawn Lynch

 

Dear Cam Newton

I have always been a fan, until this morning. I turned on Good Morning Football on NFL Network and there was your face. I sat on the edge of my bed wondering why there seemed to be this off feeling among the hosts. Then, I saw the clip.
It’s not only what you said, your body language and your distasteful snicker is what really did it in for me, personally.
Not that you’d want to, but you could peruse my social media pages and see, almost a ridiculous amount, of Cammy Cammy love the kids! and other positive notions. Seeing as the Carolina Panthers are not my #1 team, it was actually confusing to people as to why I rooted for you so hard. I pushed for you, even when you sucked at your job. Even when you threw your tantrums and stormed off the field, I went around telling everyone you were just passionate and emotional.
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Do you want to know what is more embarrassing than a turnover or fumble? Telling a joke to a room full of people and hearing crickets. Been there, done that, only I was simply unfunny – not offensive. I take it back though, there were not crickets, you laughed. How many females were watching that press conference? Is it silly for me to wake up and watch Good Morning Football at 5am? How hilarious is it that my Sunday, as a woman, is spent watching football on multiple TVs in my living room? All day.
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I know, so funny…right?

Nate Burleson, you know him? He said something that rang truer than anything I could come up with. You, Cam, imply that it’s funny for a female to be talking about routes – because it’s silly to think a female can understand the game. Once upon a time, black men were not quarterbacks, because of the untrue stigma that they could not understand the game. And here you are sir, spewing garbage that I feel confident saying, shocked most people, male and female. You feel that way? Tell your buddy after the nationally televised press conference, and hopefully, whoever you’re talking to would respond with something far more intelligent.

Perhaps if you showed some humility in your mistake you’d still have a few of the fans you lost. The problem is, I don’t think you view this as a misstep, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there were people still in your corner but overall, I think your arrogance has shown itself – and here we are. You have placed your team, your fans, and least importantly yourself in an awkward, messed up situation – as their leader.

Get it together, Cam.
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Sincerely,
A Female That Used To Be A Fan

J is for Jared Allen

Sundays, on weekend visits with my dad I loved dozing off on the couch in the basement while he passionately watched the Vikings; there is still something nostalgic about falling asleep with NFL commentators giving their two cents in the background.

After I’d graduated high school, I stopped falling asleep and started paying attention. This new guy signed with the Vikings in 2008, sparking my interest more than the rest of the guys with tight pants and nice behinds – but(t) it had nothing to do with the attire or his derriere.

Maybe it was the mullet – after all, Billy Ray Cyrus was my first love.

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There is something about watching defense players; manly men busting through an offensive line – slamming into the opposing teams quarterback? I love that shit and Jared Allen was good at it.

Before I asked many questions I assumed the wrangling of cattle move he would do after a sack was something very different – yet I enjoyed watching him pretend to be a jack-in-the-box. It made sense to me; those things can be scary. The quarterback has no idea when it’s going to happen and then, BAM!

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Jared Allen – all up in your shit – just like a jack-in-the-box.

He may be solely responsible for my fondness of the game. When I realized Jared Allen was the love of my football life is when my admiration for the game itself all fell together. Now…643 tackles, 136 quarterback sacks, 57 pass deflections, 6 interceptions,  31 forced fumbles and 4 safeties later – we say goodbye to Jared Allen on the football field.

Thankfully, I have experience with saying goodbye to this man – when he left me for the Bears I almost took it personally. He was supposed to go to the Seahawks – that was what I had planned and prepared for. When I heard the bad-news-bears I knew I’d have to say goodbye. How were we supposed to keep our Sundays together when he left me for something so ugly?  The Bears?! It’s just not in me to cheer for a Chicago Bear… ever.

We had to break up. 

I kept his wild-game cookbook I’d gotten for Christmas one year [with zero intentions of ever utilizing any of the recipes] displayed in my living room bookshelf, like a memorial; a reminder of the good times. Like any scorned ex, I was glad he didn’t excel in his new relationship. When that [dumb-never-should-have-happend] relationship ended? I  enthusiastically gave out high-fives, smiles and hugs.

Jared Allen announced his retirement back in February and I had an idea he’d come back to me – and he did.

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This was us – when we were happy.

Retired in purple, together again.


A to Z Challenge: Day Ten

An Open Letter To Stupid Viking Fans

Dear You,

You know who you are. You’re the one booing the second an interception is thrown or whenever the Vikings just don’t quite meet your expectations. I’ve been wanting to write this for quite some time; last Sunday we played the Packers and many of you showed your faces giving me the ammo I was waiting for. Our Vikes, being on a winning streak and all – I’m sure you expected them to do more than they did, right?

Twenty minutes south of Green Bay I watched the game from my house and could clearly hear roars of ‘GO-PACK-GO’ throughout the entire fourth quarter …because all of you stupid fans left. 

Did you not want to face the Packer fans? Can’t handle a little grief? Were you just that disgusted that you couldn’t bear to watch another second? Trying to beat the traffic? …All stupid reasons. I don’t give a flying shit what the score is with 8 minutes remaining in the fourth quarter… why are you leaving?!

Friendly Tip: Just don’t go. Save yourself the misery and fake fandom.

Listen, I’m not unreasonable. I also don’t enjoy being a Vikings fan 100% of the time, it’s not always fun. Hell, let’s be real, watching them kick ass in the first half only to be a completely different team when they come back from halftime sucks. I get it. Do you know what I hate more than even that, though?

Being associated with you stupid fans.

I live in Wisconsin – if there is one other Viking fan that’s in the general vicinity – we’re lumped together and I don’t appreciate it. The Vikings have the worst fans in the NFL (that could be an exaggeration… I didn’t look it up) and 79% of you only support them when they’re winning (another made up statistic).

We lost against the Packers… what about before that? The Vikings won five games in a row for the first time since 2009. We’re still playoff contenders. Our team is a talented group of guys with crazy potential and the coaching is finally where it needs to be. We play our biggest rival to defend the North Division and you let a bunch of Packer fans take over in your house. That’s gross.

While I think the Vikings deserve that new stadium… you stupid Viking fans do not. Maybe with the extra bells and whistles you’ll enjoy your time more. Meanwhile, I’m going to start drafting a letter to whoever is in charge over there – maybe they can work on some technology that can drown out your fairweather, wishy-washy-boos so the team… that you’re there to support don’t get distracted…by their fans. 

You’re dumb.

-A Non-Stupid Viking’s Fan.

SKOL.

 

Roger Goodell Logic

tom brady tweet4 games is a steeper penalty than what was originally handed down to Ray Rice, from the NFL Commissioner.

ICYMI: Rice knocked his [now] wife unconscious in an elevator.

How do those meetings go, that determine suitable disciplinary action? I picture a large oval mahogany table, leather chairs… 10-15 super important rich guys shootin’ the shit, eating expensive snacks.

As my imagination starts getting extra creative… I picture them all cackling, their old-rich-pretentious cackles when they start getting down to business. 

Roger Goodell Laughing Humor
[via: sportressofblogitude.com]
The punishments over the last few seasons for NFL players are ridiculously wide-ranged, no rhyme or reason. What we’ve learned from this whole Deflate Gate scandal, is that the worse offense of all, isn’t raping or beating women.

…It’s not cooperating with the big guys upstairs […not Jesus]. 

Detroit Lions defensive tackle, Ndamukong Suh stomped on Green Bay Packer’s quarterback, Aaron Rogers ankle and ended up having his one game suspension reduced to a fine.

The Atlanta Falcons were streaming in fake crowd noise during home games – ultimately trying to gain an advantage over their opponent & were handed down a punishment of the loss of a fifth-round draft pick in 2016, and the team was fined $350,000.

Are you telling me Roger Goodell, that Matt Ryan had no knowledge of this? Not even possibly?

The Minnesota Viking’s were caught heating up game footballs during a cold game in November last year… They received a warning.

[Roger Goodell Is A Shit-Eating Moron]

I’m not a Patriots fan, and I have never cheered for Tom Brady… but, Roger Goodell is lower on the totem pole.

In my own [and Yahoo!’s] perfect world…

Tom Brady would retire to punish Roger Goodell & the NFL.