Kindness

I’m an openly kind person, I view people as people and it really is that simple.

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Probably your face right now, but hear me out…

There are people in my life who put up with my wackiness. They 100% accept me for my loud voice, my rotten choice of words, and my filter that doesn’t exist. I want to be that person for other people. Everyone should get to have those people who put their unique traits on a pedestal. The biggest right that we are given as humans is the ability to be 100% true to ourselves. Society has fucked that up; judgement has fucked that up.

In my late elementary years, in a school I had just started attending, some of the boys in my class coined a nickname for me: linebacker. 

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What I should have done when they called me that.

Sure, my shoulders were broad, I already knew that but I was legit shook over it every single time. I liked football, I was aware that the linebackers were the stocky ones, the solid ones. There are people who are torn down way more than I was in the sixth grade, but the gist of it is that I never want to make someone feel that way.

I get no joy out of making someone uncomfortable, it’s actually the opposite. I will make myself uncomfortable before I shove an intentional, or unintentional, difficult situation on someone else. I’m super fucking nice.

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Don’t let this post make you think I’ve always had this outlook. I’ve had my moments of bitchiness and have absolutely done my fair share of unkind things. I used to make prank phone calls to teachers, pretending to be another student (the true victim), and ask for private tutoring. That’s fucked up. I have also sabotaged relationships, others and my own, and felt little to no guilt over it. Why was I like that?

I’ve fallen into the judgment zone and I’ve said some harsh things, I’m human, but it’s never felt good. Accepting folks for who they are, their struggles and achievements, are not mine or yours and that’s the beauty of it. Maybe your hair is less than normal, perhaps your awkward stance is there as a wall, I don’t know your story until I ask and actively listen.

Often times I wonder if others look back on their life and wonder what the hell happened? Why did I act a certain way? Why did I do those shitty things? I don’t have my own answers to those questions, what I do have is clarity. I know who I am, who I want to be, where I envision my future, how I want to be remembered when I’m gone – and at the root of it all is the kindness.

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How about we all just be nice?

I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.

-William Penn (1644-1718)
Founder Of Pennsylvania, United States

What if more people did nice things without expecting any recognition or praise, nice just to be nice? I have always considered myself to be a nice person and I’m sure you’re all nice people as well, but it should be about more than that.

Countless times a day we are all presented with options to do a little more.

I wouldn’t talk behind your back or think poorly of you if you didn’t grasp the opportunity every single time – but every once in a while – grab on and go with it.

Some time ago I came across The Birthday Project. It all started when one woman posted this and the final outcome of it all makes my heart warm. What they stand for is pretty commendable, heartwarming; they promote Random Acts Of Kindness. More specifically, they encourage you to do these things on days when typically, you would be the one getting gifts. The Birthday Project encourages you to gain pleasure by doing delightful things for someone else on your birthday, anniversary, etc. interesting concept, eh?

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

-Diana Spencer (1961-1997)
Princess Of Wales
 

Random acts of kindness do not need to be of large magnitude. They don’t have to cost you anything and they don’t have to be time-consuming; the size of your kindness does not matter. What matters is you are helping and making someone happy, and hopefully a chain reaction will begin.

If you’re not really grasping what I’m trying to say, you can Google it (made it pretty simple for you). There are examples of kindness eeevvvverywhere. I’ll even do ya one better – I’ll be nice and give you some ideas.

  • Let someone go ahead of you in line – especially if they have a few items & your cart is spilling over.
  • Mail a card or letter to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while (or, someone you spoke to yesterday – everyone loves getting mail).
  • Feed an expired meter.
  • Offer to return a shopping cart to the cart carral for someone– or better yet, take it back into the store.
  • Compliment your co-worker, spouse, child or even a stranger. We all know how a nice statement acknowledging something on us or about us, can make a day a little better.
  • Tape some spare change to a vending machine.
  • Rather than speed up to get ahead of the person merging on the highway – slow down and let them merge – stress-free.

Not everyone will appreciate the kind gestures but thankfully, that’s not what it’s about. It is for the people who need a good pick-me-up just because. I need it every so often and so do you, so do those strangers scowling while waiting in line. Let them go ahead of you.

“A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.”

-Saint Basil (329-379)
Bishop Of Cesarea