I’m not going to let that bother me.

There we were, my husband and I, both trying to get that ever-so-important final word in. I can’t even tell you what we were bickering about, but I’m positive that it was something dumb – bickering is always for something dumb. If it was of any importance, it certainly would have escalated into an actual argument and I’d know exactly what it was pertaining to…and why I was right and my husband was wrong.

giphy (5).gif

Yeah, okay…whatever you say.

Good.

Fine.

Seriously! I just tried to end this.

Whatever.

After all that, an exceptional statement came out of my mouth:

I’m not going to let that bother me.

Brandin just looked back at me and I watched a smirk grow on his face, and that was that.

Okay, okay…I admit, I fully intended for that statement to be snide; one more little jab. I was legit surprised when I realized I actually felt better, and not a VICTORY-IS-MINE sorta better, it was as if I had literally just chucked that bicker-fest out the window.

 

giphy (4).gif
See ya later, bye.

 

What was supposed to be a disparaging remark, turned into quite the opposite. Give it a whirl, and not only when squabbling. For instance:

  • Oh, the jerk in the fancy car just cut me off? I’m not going to let that bother me.
  • Interesting… You canceled plans with me because you have a headache – and you were just tagged on Facebook at Applebee’s? I’m not going to let that bother me.
  • My dog that was just outside for 20 minutes but still crapped on the floor. I’m not going to let that bother me.

giphy (6).gif

There is really something to this, I promise. I’m no head-doctor and I’m certainly not an expert in staying calm (ask my husband) but hearing those words, they’ve helped digest  situations and from there, there’s a choice. Is it worth the negative feelings? More often than not, I’d rather just stay in a good mood.

 

Kiki Willems & Tess Holliday: What’s The Difference?

[via: nymag.com]
[via: nymag.com]

This is 18 year old model, Kiki Willems & this ad was banned in the UK because she appears underweight and it was deemed, irresponsible.

aca quoteIt’s ignorant to assume there are not naturally thin girls who appear to be underweight; I’m requesting to know why it’s okay to discriminate against them? Why is it irresponsible to put those girls in an advertisement?  With the trend that was, and still is: real-size models isn’t the message being sent, one of acknowledging all body types?

Should skinny girls not aspire to model anymore?

I think it’s irresponsible to shame a woman for her body regardless of her size and shape. Everyone is so proud of Tess Holliday, the size 22 supermodel… can that be deemed as irresponsible?

[via: people.com]
[via: people.com]
Technically speaking, we could say Tess Holliday looks unhealthy, but she’s on a cover welcoming her into the supermodel club. If a young girl is flipping through People magazine, are we concerned what this hypothetical girl’s thoughts might be?

Kiki Willems was posed in a way that accentuated her already thin frame…

Kiki Willems chest appears too thin with the way the light is shining on it…

What if it was the other way around?

Tess Holliday was posed in a way that accentuated her already chubby frame…

Tess Holliday’s stomach appears extra large when she’s at that angle…

Would that be okay? Should Tess Holliday’s photos be banned because they promote a normalcy for obesity? Why is one extreme worse or better than the other?

so many questions

Just as there are larger young girls who can relate to Tess Holliday, there are genetically thin girls who can relate with Kiki Willems and to suggest anything otherwise would be insensible.

The advertisers, marketers and most importantly the creator of a product should be able to express their visions, for their products using the art of their choosing.

Whose responsibility is it to teach young girls about a healthy body image? Not Kiki Willems…not Tess Holliday……and not the folks over at People or Elle Magazine.

[7 tips for raising a confident daughter who loves herself …]

I Do Not Fear Mental Illness – I Fear Our Perception Of It

I sat in a park in Menasha, Wisconsin by the water with my 8 year old son last night. It was beautiful…and scary. It wasn’t like this before. I found myself looking over my shoulder every time I heard voices coming in our direction. I kept a judgmental eye on people who seemed to be moving in a way that didn’t seem normal.

The typical safety I feel by being surrounded by a baseball diamond full of players & other folks enjoying the weather… was gone. It does not matter how many people you’re surrounded by when there could be one individual in the crowd who is unstable and battling an inner struggle that you or I cannot comprehend.

mental illness quote michelle obama

[Police: 4 dead, including suspect, in Menasha shooting]

At 7:30pm on May 3rd, 2015 in a park in Menasha, Wisconsin four people werementalillness killed, including an 11 year old girl.  Grief struck me last night as I sat with my son; I felt sadness for a child that will never experience life & for her mother who survived. I looked at my son, put my arm around him & realized I cannot protect him from a mentally ill person with a gun. When a human being is overcome with a negative shadow, rarely is an offense they commit planned out. Randomly, they seem to take their aggressiveness and feelings out on innocent people who never see it coming.

Gun control, gun control, gun control… in America we all have an opinion. We read about it, we talk and debate about it – if we, as a nation, discussed mental illness the way we ranted about gun control… we might get somewhere. But, the focus remains on a belonging, rather than people.

MentalIllnessQuoteGlennClose

I’ve always been an overly-analytical person, trying to understand things by dissecting every aspect of a scenario, regardless how big or small. While watching people in the park last night, I started to wonder how the shooter’s family and friends are grieving the loss of him.

Were there red flags that now haunt them? Had he attempted to reach out for professional help, what steps would have been taken by doctors… medication?  I can’t help but get angry when mental-illness is downplayed or not taken seriously.  We’re failing not only a person who has something terribly wrong with them… but we’re failing the 11 year old girl whose life got cut short.

Sitting in a quiet park in Wisconsin with my son, should be anything but an anxiety-ridden experience. The pleasantry of the trees finally being filled with green leaves & the sounds of kids running around, without a care in the world have been replaced with an uneasy pit in my stomach.mental health quote glenn close1

I Support Pizza

I’m going to order a pizza from pizza hut. – Husband

I support that decision. – Me

TSWIFT THINKING

After I said it, I had a quick thought.

I’m not 100% sold on it myself… but, does I support seems like an overused statement?

I’m going to talk it out and figure out where I stand…

beCause,that’s my point.

Before you say you support something – educate yourself on it.

I support google search

I bet… majority more than 1/3 of the people who searched any of the above options, that my support for the delicious pizza that’s coming to my door – is more uneducatedsupportsincere than their support for single moms and/or Officer Wilson. If you claim to support something please be prepared to explain yourself when I ask you why.

Do you support Officer Wilson? Michael Brown; or you suddenly just support Ferguson in general? How come? What makes you feel that way? If you can’t come up with a single original thought, by all means…feel free to hop on the web & find some facts.

I can tell you, I support the pizza because:

  1. I’m starving…pretty much to the point of withering away.
  2. I haven’t had pizza in a solid…4 days. I need it.
  3. Pizza is my favorite food because cheese is amazing & any sort of carb rock my socks off.
  4. My husband took care of dinner & there is no mess to clean up.
  5. He also got wings. [Garlic Parmesan]

Five solid reasons to back up my support. Wasn’t difficult to come up with because I hold a stance on the issue. Sure, pizza may seem unimportant but, nonetheless – I feel I used the remark appropriately.

I figured it out.

The phrase I support is not overused, but the terminology should be more than a mere utterance. It does not matter how big or small the issue behind the expression is. What does matter is that your “support” is backed up with reasoning.

Ignorance is not okay.

Thanks for getting through that with me.

Ignorance is [not] bliss

“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Emerson in His Journals

My opinion holds no more value than yours, the homeless man’s on the corner…or the bitch at the hair salon. Thankfully we live in a society where that’s allowed, at least it’s supposed to be. Recently, I’ve noticed there’s an abundance of people who think their opinion is more valuable than the next person’s…

steve carell gif\

Possibly there is confusion & some people don’t know the distinct difference between debating your opinion versus trying to change someone’s view to match your own.

If everyone had the same perceptions, ideas and opinions the world would remain idle. Contradiction creates change – good, bad & ugly. In small places like the workplace & home, to the very large picture of politics, professional athletes or global warming…

Nothing would change if nothing was ever questioned. 

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
Oscar Wilde

I wish I had the ability to make people listen – not only to others but to themselves also. The opinion that you’re fighting for… how much do you know about it? If you’re passionate about it, know about it.

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”
Harlan Ellison

How far are you willing to go to get someone to agree with you? I am more than happy to share my opinion with people when asked… when I answer – do not insult me or anyone else who has a differing idea.

12675-it-is-possible-to-be-so-ignorant-that-you-do-not-know-how-ignorant

I shared my opinion on Adrian Peterson & a man challenged me on it – which I welcome. I love a good debate. I allowed him to share with me his points and I listened to them; at no point did I make it personal or combative. As my opinion did not match his, he called me a lunatic… a psychopath & a child abuser – because I have spanked my child.

mr rogers

A respectful debate can change opinions – but that is not the goal. Over all we should be more concerned with educating ourselves with the help from one another, rather than trying to produce clones of one thing.

(…Rant Over.)