The Power of Resting Bitch Face


I look like a bitch, it’s always been that way. I’ve not only accepted it, I’m well aware of the perks that come with it.

Circa 1987: I’m the blonde with the bitch face.

I’m less likely to be approached by employees who count on face-to-face commission money, especially kiosk employees – who are the worst. I do not need to create fake dialogue into my phone, while praying it doesn’t ring, to avoid these people. I’m already unapproachable and with little effort I can turn unapproachable into don’t you fucking dare talk to me.

Before & After I’m Told To Smile (#1)

Awkward strangers are less likely to sit next to me and other ladies who sport this look. It’s not personal, awkward strangers, I’m sure you are very nice people – but I don’t want talk about your personal life or discuss mine. Me, and my resting bitch face club members, probably deal with this sort of thing far less than pleasant looking, smile-bearing women. Even when an opportunity presents itself, and I want to appear inviting and welcoming… my face screams possibly-abrasive. 

Before and After: “Smile, Jen!” (#2)

Passive-aggressive shenanigans, I kill that shit. Resting Bitch Face makes it simple to let someone, or everyone, know that you’re not particularly keen on something – without being actually aggressive. Is she mad? Is she sad? It’s unclear – but I know she’s not real happy about it.

It’s really too bad we can’t teach our fellow ladies who are not blessed with such a face the technique of pairing the words…

I mean, I guess that’s fine… 

with a face that silently screams: If we end up doing whatever I just said is fine – there will be consequences. 

I do not have any desire to smile more, as many of you suggest on the regular or do I think there’s a problem. Let’s not get it twisted ladies and gentlemen: I like my bitchy face and I bet most of my catty faced posse does too.

Kiki Willems & Tess Holliday: What’s The Difference?


This is 18 year old model, Kiki Willems & this ad was banned in the UK because she appears underweight and it was deemed, irresponsible.

aca quoteIt’s ignorant to assume there are not naturally thin girls who appear to be underweight; I’m requesting to know why it’s okay to discriminate against them? Why is it irresponsible to put those girls in an advertisement?  With the trend that was, and still is: real-size models isn’t the message being sent, one of acknowledging all body types?

Should skinny girls not aspire to model anymore?

I think it’s irresponsible to shame a woman for her body regardless of her size and shape. Everyone is so proud of Tess Holliday, the size 22 supermodel… can that be deemed as irresponsible?

Technically speaking, we could say Tess Holliday looks unhealthy, but she’s on a cover welcoming her into the supermodel club. If a young girl is flipping through People magazine, are we concerned what this hypothetical girl’s thoughts might be?

Kiki Willems was posed in a way that accentuated her already thin frame…

Kiki Willems chest appears too thin with the way the light is shining on it…

What if it was the other way around?

Tess Holliday was posed in a way that accentuated her already chubby frame…

Tess Holliday’s stomach appears extra large when she’s at that angle…

Would that be okay? Should Tess Holliday’s photos be banned because they promote a normalcy for obesity? Why is one extreme worse or better than the other?

so many questions

Just as there are larger young girls who can relate to Tess Holliday, there are genetically thin girls who can relate with Kiki Willems and to suggest anything otherwise would be insensible.

The advertisers, marketers and most importantly the creator of a product should be able to express their visions, for their products using the art of their choosing.

Whose responsibility is it to teach young girls about a healthy body image? Not Kiki Willems…not Tess Holliday……and not the folks over at People or Elle Magazine.

[7 tips for raising a confident daughter who loves herself …]

I Do Not Fear Mental Illness – I Fear Our Perception Of It

I sat in a park in Menasha, Wisconsin by the water with my 8 year old son last night. It was beautiful…and scary. It wasn’t like this before. I found myself looking over my shoulder every time I heard voices coming in our direction. I kept a judgmental eye on people who seemed to be moving in a way that didn’t seem normal.

The typical safety I feel by being surrounded by a baseball diamond full of players & other folks enjoying the weather… was gone. It does not matter how many people you’re surrounded by when there could be one individual in the crowd who is unstable and battling an inner struggle that you or I cannot comprehend.

mental illness quote michelle obama

[Police: 4 dead, including suspect, in Menasha shooting]

At 7:30pm on May 3rd, 2015 in a park in Menasha, Wisconsin four people werementalillness killed, including an 11 year old girl.  Grief struck me last night as I sat with my son; I felt sadness for a child that will never experience life & for her mother who survived. I looked at my son, put my arm around him & realized I cannot protect him from a mentally ill person with a gun. When a human being is overcome with a negative shadow, rarely is an offense they commit planned out. Randomly, they seem to take their aggressiveness and feelings out on innocent people who never see it coming.

Gun control, gun control, gun control… in America we all have an opinion. We read about it, we talk and debate about it – if we, as a nation, discussed mental illness the way we ranted about gun control… we might get somewhere. But, the focus remains on a belonging, rather than people.


I’ve always been an overly-analytical person, trying to understand things by dissecting every aspect of a scenario, regardless how big or small. While watching people in the park last night, I started to wonder how the shooter’s family and friends are grieving the loss of him.

Were there red flags that now haunt them? Had he attempted to reach out for professional help, what steps would have been taken by doctors… medication?  I can’t help but get angry when mental-illness is downplayed or not taken seriously.  We’re failing not only a person who has something terribly wrong with them… but we’re failing the 11 year old girl whose life got cut short.

Sitting in a quiet park in Wisconsin with my son, should be anything but an anxiety-ridden experience. The pleasantry of the trees finally being filled with green leaves & the sounds of kids running around, without a care in the world have been replaced with an uneasy pit in my stomach.mental health quote glenn close1

“Not Unfortunate Looking”

Ah, my favorite description for someone or something [I’m not always a judgmental bitch]. When the phrase, Not Completely Unfortunate Looking is used properly… it’s perfect.


Hey Jen, Do you think that new girl is pretty?

…I mean, she’s not unfortunate looking.

The new girl is probably pretty plain – maybe has a feature or two that strike me as unattractive, but she has a nice smile.

Hey Jen, Do you like that shirt?

…I mean, it’s not unfortunate looking.

The shirt more than likely has a God awful print, but it fits nice.

I’m not sure, perhaps it’s my blunt nature that throws people off when it’s said. Noticeably, the terminology creates a facial expression that screams:

Is that appropriate? 

Should I think that’s funny?

Is she being mean?

Listing off meaner statements I’m capable of coming up with came to mind, but I dismissed it. We’re here for, Not Unfortunate Looking.

No need for a fuss, it’s okay to laugh.  It’s not a compliment per say but if it was directed at me, at least they don’t think my car, clothes…face, whatever… is down right ugly. That’s way worse.

Not unfortunate looking is another way of saying, someone might like it. Listing off ways people are big ol’ babies and need to learn to simmer down came to mind also, but I dismissed it.


I Support Pizza

I’m going to order a pizza from pizza hut. – Husband

I support that decision. – Me


After I said it, I had a quick thought.

I’m not 100% sold on it myself… but, does I support seems like an overused statement?

I’m going to talk it out and figure out where I stand…

beCause,that’s my point.

Before you say you support something – educate yourself on it.

I support google search

I bet… majority more than 1/3 of the people who searched any of the above options, that my support for the delicious pizza that’s coming to my door – is more uneducatedsupportsincere than their support for single moms and/or Officer Wilson. If you claim to support something please be prepared to explain yourself when I ask you why.

Do you support Officer Wilson? Michael Brown; or you suddenly just support Ferguson in general? How come? What makes you feel that way? If you can’t come up with a single original thought, by all means…feel free to hop on the web & find some facts.

I can tell you, I support the pizza because:

  1. I’m starving…pretty much to the point of withering away.
  2. I haven’t had pizza in a solid…4 days. I need it.
  3. Pizza is my favorite food because cheese is amazing & any sort of carb rock my socks off.
  4. My husband took care of dinner & there is no mess to clean up.
  5. He also got wings. [Garlic Parmesan]

Five solid reasons to back up my support. Wasn’t difficult to come up with because I hold a stance on the issue. Sure, pizza may seem unimportant but, nonetheless – I feel I used the remark appropriately.

I figured it out.

The phrase I support is not overused, but the terminology should be more than a mere utterance. It does not matter how big or small the issue behind the expression is. What does matter is that your “support” is backed up with reasoning.

Ignorance is not okay.

Thanks for getting through that with me.