I will not apologize for my lack of a filter.

Life is short, say what you have to say – how you want to say it.

This is something relatively new to me, while I’ve always been the girl who spits out something wild here and there, I have not always been this opinionated. And let me tell you, it’s liberating and I don’t think you’d regret adopting the same mindset.

You can’t please everyone. You are not everyone’s cup o’ tea and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but even if you try, it’s not happening. Just save yourself the hassle and do you, because no one else can.  There isn’t a person on this planet who has the same thought process as you, so let us hear what you think.

 

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Fuck a filter.

 

Talk to each other. Debate each other. Challenge each other.

Don’t get it twisted though, I don’t go out of my way to be disrespectful or rude. There’s a difference, often times a fine line, between speaking your mind and shoving things down the throats of others. The same can be said for arguing vs. a healthy debate. If you’re opening your mouth to object, be ready to open your ears just as fast.

Communicating an opposing viewpoint, giving an honest opinion, or calling bullshit politely disagreeing is something I genuinely enjoy, call me crazy. As long as the other participant in the conversation is rational, there’s a good chance I’ll learn something in the process. But let’s get real… I’m actually hoping the other person will end up saying something like, Jeeze I never thought of it like that. 

More often than not, the conversation doesn’t really change the way someone feels regarding this, that or the other. I share a lot of opinions, it’s  doubtful I’ve ever 100% changed someone’s own – but that’s not the goal. Learn something. If I oppose you – give it to me back. Tell me why you think my opinion is bogus, I want to hear it.

How boring would it be if everyone just agreed? If when you didn’t, you just kept your mouth shut? I know, I know… there are plenty of people who would prefer that and are currently thinking to themselves, that’d actually be quite peaceful.

I get it – it’s that whole not-everyone’s-cup-o-tea thing.

I cuss, it’s a habit but I refuse to call it a bad one. Sometimes Most of the time, non-swear words don’t have the ability to get my point across the same way as, fuck, shit, and damn. End of story.

But you have a kid! What are you teaching him? What kind of example is that?

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I do not allow my kid to say whatever the fuck he wants, ok? He’s is doing just fine because he’s smart and knows the difference between grown up words and kid words. I never filtered myself to speak like the PTO-moms so we had that talk pretty young. If I’m being honest, when it’s age-appropriate, I actually look forward to many conversations that include the above referenced words – probably coming out of both of our mouths. Again, there’s a fine line between being disrespectful and being expressive, that’s where more important aspects of parenting come in.

I will not apologize for my lack of a filter – whether it’s opinion related, choice of words, or just flat out random statements. I am not everyone’s favorite kind and that’s okay. Next time you’re in a situation where you find yourself biting your tongue, don’t. Not everyone is used to folks speaking up with opposing input, watch the faces of the people around you and enjoy.

Ignorance is [not] bliss

“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Emerson in His Journals

My opinion holds no more value than yours, the homeless man’s on the corner…or the bitch at the hair salon. Thankfully we live in a society where that’s allowed, at least it’s supposed to be. Recently, I’ve noticed there’s an abundance of people who think their opinion is more valuable than the next person’s…

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Possibly there is confusion & some people don’t know the distinct difference between debating your opinion versus trying to change someone’s view to match your own.

If everyone had the same perceptions, ideas and opinions the world would remain idle. Contradiction creates change – good, bad & ugly. In small places like the workplace & home, to the very large picture of politics, professional athletes or global warming…

Nothing would change if nothing was ever questioned. 

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
Oscar Wilde

I wish I had the ability to make people listen – not only to others but to themselves also. The opinion that you’re fighting for… how much do you know about it? If you’re passionate about it, know about it.

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”
Harlan Ellison

How far are you willing to go to get someone to agree with you? I am more than happy to share my opinion with people when asked… when I answer – do not insult me or anyone else who has a differing idea.

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I shared my opinion on Adrian Peterson & a man challenged me on it – which I welcome. I love a good debate. I allowed him to share with me his points and I listened to them; at no point did I make it personal or combative. As my opinion did not match his, he called me a lunatic… a psychopath & a child abuser – because I have spanked my child.

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A respectful debate can change opinions – but that is not the goal. Over all we should be more concerned with educating ourselves with the help from one another, rather than trying to produce clones of one thing.

(…Rant Over.)

Follow Your Arrow, You Badass!

Listen to yourself. If you’re smart – you have the ability follow your own arrow – and screw everyone else that doesn’t bask in your greatness. If you’re not going to trust yourself, or you just simply can’t… why the hello should you trust anyone else? 

This is not just coming out of nowhere; I read a book recently. (Actually, I didn’t read it at all – I listened to it.) The book is called, You Are A Badass by: Jen Sincero. 

I didn’t only listen to it once…I listened multiple times – in one week.

You Are A Badass

If you have ever questioned yourself, your abilities or think you want more (more happiness – not stuff) out of life – read it. If you have never doubted yourself, your abilities & you think your life is perfect ………………….I still say, read it because I don’t see how Her words could possibly do anything other than positive things for anyone who does themselves the favor.

As I listened, I began to ask myself why. Why have been walking around this place for the last 29 years – trying to make everyone else happy? I’ve been so careful to sensor my words to accommodate other people. Always so careful not to make waves – and sometimes say no words at all. Always so careful to make sure everyone else is comfortable – while I sat and squirmed.

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Could anyone see the visual going on in my brain of me ripping my hair out – while I smiled? I let my own happiness get away & the most unacceptable thing about it, was being content with it; the falseness felt embarrassingly normal. Allowing people to dictate mere words that escape my mouth & ultimately my own direction is a thing of the past. 

Fuck It…… and I don’t care if that offended anyone.

Positive visualization, positive thinking…karma…good ju-ju…Whatever you chose to call it – it’s real and it surrounds each and every one of us. It can either be an awesome, fabulous hug… or it’s going to strangle you. If you’d rather have a hug, than a tight grip around your neck……….start thinking as if you know it’s all going to be okay. Once you start thinking it – you need to start doing it. After you start doing it… the goodness just starts rolling in.

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If you’d rather sit and dwell on bad things – you do that…

I’ll be over here – not stressing out.

What other people do and say (or don’t say) is out of your control. Your kid just threw their juice & it’s going to a bitch to clean up? Nothing you can do about it. What’s done is done. If you can’t control it – it shouldn’t control you…end of story. You get to live one time – that’s it. Once. You don’t get tomorrow back, today – or an hour ago. If there’s a problem – fix it. If you have a problem with someone – tell them. 

As Kasey Musgraves so eloquently says…

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Jen says in the book <yes-we are on a first name basis> something about… even if you’re behind on your mortgage, you have been stressing out about your avoidance of the dirty bathrooms for 2 weeks…you haven’t spoken to your mother in 6 years – right now at this very second, you can enjoy the moment you’re in right now. The things you’re stressing about cannot stop you from being happy in your present.

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We as a society are walking around like a herd of cattle buying what the advertisers tell us to buy (quick, before someone you know gets it first!), saying what we think others want to hear (to make them happy) & doing things that we don’t even want to do simply to appease other people – people who could care less more often than not.

Sit and really think about that……It’s crazy.

Be You. Do You. Own it.

Own your decisions.

Own your ideas.

Own your passions.

Own your opinions.

Own your words.

You’re pretty awesome…start believing it.

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Jen Sincero has spoken to me & it’s changed the way my brain wraps around my thoughts.. (Not personally…just while she was narrating the awesome book she wrote.) In my present, my thoughts hold so much value…because I am listening to me. 

Give it a shot. (& read – or listen to her book).

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