Five Things To Keep In Mind For 2015

Call them New Years Resolutions if you’d like… I’d prefer not to.

I try to avoid setting myself up for that kind of failure; I’m too lazy busy to follow through with an actual “resolution”… [Sounds so serious.] With one day remaining of 2014, here are 5 things I’ll be keeping in mind for the upcoming year.

(Perhaps you’re also a bit behind on the New Year goals & kinda “busy” [or lazy]… feel free to call these your own.)

Do Not Board Any Airplanes

New Theory, Folks.
Something I learned in 2014 is that Airplanes are just not for me. I’ve never had a problem flying; the handful of times I’ve had the pleasure I even looked forward to it. 
Me, like the rest of you…enjoy the idea of flying & the idea of getting somewhere in a quick fashion.
No more. Nope.
I’ll take my road trip & not disappear – See ya in 3 days.

Things Aren’t So Bad

Ugly Mad Face

Sometimes I get a bit heated. Occasionally I slam doors. There are moments I’m not super proud of…I need to remember that things could always be worse.

Someone is in a way worse situation somewhere and they probably bitch way less. Losing my keys, Waking up late, Not having any coffee left… all obnoxious, but really aren’t worth getting all nutty over. That face happens.

I’m a pretty lucky person when all is said and done. I’m going to relax & remember that things aren’t so bad in 2015.

Never Shop At Kohls, Ever Again

How the conversation went…

They screwed me over this year. If anyone in the world of Corporate Kohls stumbles across my little corner of the World Wide Web here… I want you to know… You all suck – Pass the word in 2015. Please & Thank You.

I will never shop there again, and I’ll tell as many people as possible to avoid your crap store, with crap customer service & crap financial departments that don’t take phone calls…after they take a bunch of money out of someone’s bank account (unauthorized) .

[Disclaimer: A grudge will be held through 2015 at minimum. I might come back in 2016. …Maybe.]

Makeup Is Optional, Not Necessary 

I stopped wearing makeup for 3 months this year, consecutively. There are a few lovely things that are possible when you’re not wearing makeup…

  • You can rub your eyes…whenever you want.
  • You can sleep longer.
  • Cry it out… No crazy eyes for you.
  • You can shower longer.
  • You don’t have to wash your face at night (which…if I’m being honest – I don’t do that when I’m wearing makeup either…But, lots of you ladies do [& good for you…I’m lazy, remember?]
  • You won’t get any makeup on the collar of your shirt or cute winter hat.

By all means, wear your war-paint Ladies…just remember, you don’t have to.

If There’s A Problem, Fix It.

In the past [like, yesterday] I’ve suffered from something called, Procrastination Burden Disorder; PBD for short – self diagnosed. This disorder stops my brain from doing the logical thing when placed in a situation that’s less than desirable.

Rather than fix the problem…I’d actually rather sit and stew about it.

Not anymore… I am going to medicate myself with some meditation paired with a healthy dose of daily affirmations & cure myself in 2015 once and for all [fun fact: I’m a doctor & a spiritual healer].

Daily Affirmations

I am thankful for each day.

I will not eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

I embrace the unknown.

I am focused on today.

I will get my shit together.

Less stressing, more fixing… Because, I’m a badass.

Be at war with your vices
at peace with your neighbors
and let every new year find you a better man.
Benjamin Franklin 

Functional Procrastination

Procrastinate pro·cras·ti·nate [proh-kras-tuh-neyt, pruh-]  verb (used without object), pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing.

1. to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.

verb (used with object), pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing.

2. to put off till another day or time; defer; delay

Even the definition of procrastination on Dictionary.com even makes it seem negative. 

To Procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.

I am going to let you in on a little secret, if you know how to procrastinate properly, it’s not negative. I know, I’m an expert.

Often I will observe people patiently working to create their ultimate goal, whatever that may be.  The same day an idea pops into their head, or they receive a project and instantly they’re ready to get started. In the past, I’d find myself wishing I could be more like them, the ones that take their time to ensure that [insert awesome achievement here] is the best it can be, top notch.

The realization that I will never be that person sank in quite some time ago, we’re talking like… middle school.

Procrastination works well for me, I have stopped wishing to be more responsible. The stereotype of procrastination reeks of irresponsibility. If the outcome of what I accomplished is something to be proud of, does it really matter how much actual time was spent? I want to stress the word ‘actual’ in that statement up there; just because a person is not physically putting the work on paper (or whatever contraption is appropriate for this big ‘ol hypothetical goal/project/accomplishment/duty I’m discussing) does not mean they are not being productive.

I consider myself to be a perfectionist and a procrastinator. That may explain why I am a functioning procrastinator – much like a functioning alcoholic, but not as serious – even though I may have made a few jokes about being both.

My brain needs time to digest the task at hand. It starts laying out all these ideas and suddenly the inside of my head has just exploded with bubble charts and random ideas. I will be thinking about the outcome until I absolutely have to do it. A gigantic amount of time would be wasted if I started something [anything] immediately. I’d start only to have to erase and start over more than once.

On the indecisive scale of 1-10, I’d say I’m a solid 23. Waiting it out until the last minute forces me to be decisive and eliminates time for me to change my mind. This same time others may observe and believe it is being wasted, the pressures to complete whatever it is I’m working on keeps me focused, on task. It allows me to accept my best work as good enough. The ability to look at a finished product for an extended time period becomes a level of stress that trumps the initial stress of not yet starting.

I do not procrastinate because I am lazy. I do not procrastinate because I’m unable to prioritize. I procrastinate because it works for me. To each their own, I suppose. Kudos to the responsible folks who complete everything early and cheers to my fellow functional procrastinators.


Daily Prompt