Get It Together, NFL

I’m not pleased there’s only one Sunday left for delicious snacks & Bloody Marys before noon. Disappointment is inevitable after the Superbowl concludes; regrettably, this season coming to an end feels different. It seems some of the magic was sucked out of the whole NFL experience this season.

Who do I blame? 1e9beef6559fb5070a0824043e122306

Roger Goodell and anyone else who was part of the hypocritical madness that was the 2014-2015 football season.

The plethora of pull-out-of-a-hat punishments that were handed down this season is outstanding. No rhyme or reason. No consistency. No accountability when questioned.

Fans: just throw your blinders on and enjoy the games. 

That’s what I feel it’s come down to.

I’m fully able to make sense that the NFL is a business; a big fat money-loving business. I grasp the concept that life isn’t fair & sometimes shit happens that people need to “just deal with”.

The latest mockery shown by the National Football League exceeds the ordinary, meh-it-happens, bologna.

The NFL fined Marshawn Lynch $20k for grabbing his groin, but the league is selling prints of the photo.


I’m not surprised Marshawn Lynch keeps his mouth shut, can you blame him? No wonder he doesn’t trust the media. He can’t even trust the organization who makes up all these rules and regulations & in their next breath, attempt to achieve some sort of monetary gain from the “offensive-misdeed”.

Grabbing your crotch for .5 seconds in celebration… is not family friendly. That seems to be the the argument.

Guess what? Neither is the Viagra commercial that comes on 3 times per game. I’d rather explain Marshawn Lynch grabbing his junk to my 8 year old, before I explain what erectile dysfunction is.

Richard Sherman & Doug Baldwin explain NFL hypocrisy the best.


By The Way… Go Seahawks!

Misunderstood Marshawn

Some people seem to have a bad taste in their mouth about Seattle Seahawks Running Back, Marshawn Lynch – aka: Beast Mode.

Ya know…

giphy (1) giphy (2)  giphy (4)

Him. He’s the one making all the plays, in case you weren’t sure.

– Marshawn Lynch [Disclaimer: I made that quote up – He never said that]

Perhaps you’re one of those people talking about how rude he is & being all judgey-pants…

Let me try to change your mind.

I enjoy Mr. Lynch’s style [which I say very broadly]. I wish the team I cheer for on Sundays had this guy on our team. I won’t get into the fact that he’s a pretty good football player [#understatement] – because…nobody seems to have a problem with that.

The only “problem” is that he doesn’t enjoy the media’s company.

But, he did say this…

More recently…

It’s not personal guys. He’s not trying to make Mr. Media Man or YOU angry or annoyed.


He’s a quiet dude & I like him, just the way he is.

We don’t get any more interview time than you get with him.”

He doesn’t talk with us, and doesn’t talk to you really.

On this football team, and all teams, there’s people that are more available than other people because they’re comfortable with that.

Seattle Seahawks coach, Pete Carroll

Yes, it is in NFL player’s standard contract to address the media. Yes, there are consequences for not following the guidelines of your contract. If Mr. Lynch wants to boycott the media – is it not his right to choose to pay that fine for not “fulfilling his media obligations”?

The media seems to have plenty to write about when he’s not talking… eat it up guys & stop bitching. There is no serious problem here.

letitgo demi


Let me educate you on a few things about Marshawn Lynch you may not know, the things that don’t make it to the media…

Marshawn Lynch has a buddy he played football with in College, named Justin Forsett. Rumor has it when Forsett was the backup running back, Marshawn would pretend to get tired so his buddy could get some plays in towards the end of the game.

To take that one step further…who’s to say Forsett would have made it into the NFL without getting a little help from his friend – or brother as they refer to each other.

Marshawn Lynch found a mans wallet in a Seattle gas station and drove to his house to return it to him.

He’s polite… Obviously – I mean…watch that second video. He says, “Thank you” and “I appreciate that” more than I’ve said it all year.

Marshawn Lynch is the co-founder & Vice President of The Fam 1st Family Foundation; “The foundation’s mission is one of empowerment and education, aiming to build self-esteem and academic learning skills in underprivileged youth.” [Such a rude thing to do.] He even took some time to talk about it at a charity dinner…

Not Saying, Just saying…

And while I’m at it…Not to get all uppity or pretentious but if I worked for the NFL this year…I wouldn’t want to put myself in the limelight either.

Marshawn Lynch has never given a crap – and you shouldn’t either.

Go talk to Russell Wilson & lighten up.

10 Things I Took Away From Monday Night Football This Week

1.) Marshawn Lynch is Crazy-Beasty fast

[Yes, I made that term up.]

Holy Cannoli

I have never seen a running back plow through with no regard for anything in front of him the way he does.


& He does it over…and over…and over again.

2.) Fleet Farm Toyland forgot about November

Commercial Break…


WHY is Fleet Farm already telling us about Toyland opening at 7am… & layaway?! It’s the beginning of October. Gross…

Please… Stop it. 

3.) Another Minnesota Viking has left for Seattle

After playing with the convicts Minnesota Vikings for 11 years, Defensive Tackle – Kevin Williams is now with a few other smart and lucky players to make the transition to the Seahawks.

He follows suit after Percy Harvin (We’ll get to him shortly), Sidney Rice and A.J. Jefferson.

Cant say I really blame them; good move, guys.

4.) If you live in Wisconsin, and like to drive drunk… call this guy

Local commercials are the best…aren’t they?

Pitsch Law will help you get out of your consequences. That’s what I took from that. What a terrible commercial. I promise – no more commercial talk.

5.) The Redskins are happy to have DeSean Jackson

Formerly a Philadelphia Eagle, DeSean Jackson caught a long touchdown pass from quarterback Kirk Cousins; closing the gap between the two teams by 10 points. They still had a chance…

That made touchdown catch #19 since entering the NFL in 2008 of 50+ yards. Fun Fact: That’s the most in the NFL, per ESPN.

6.) Penalties, Penalties, Penalties…

Not only are the Washington Redskins happy to have Desean Jackson… they should also be happy that the Seattle Seahawks managed to lose 90 yards over a span of 13 penalties. This could have been much uglier.

Speaking of penalties… 


7.) Percy Harvin Is Annoyed

Percy had 3 touchdowns in Monday Night’s game against the Washington Redskins that were taken back due to penalties. (Two of them, back to back!) I was shocked when I saw his face on my television after the 3rd & he was smiling…. Keep it classy, Percy. I’d be going nutty.

8.) Russell Wilson knows how to use his legs

Jeeze Louise… he is mobile! Every single play, Russell Wilson seems to know exactly where to move under pressure. The conclusion that I have come up with is that he hates getting sacked.

Russell Be Like:

Nope…Not happenin’ guys…gotta catch me first.


…First down. I looked good doing that, didn’t I?

9.) Richard Sherman Is Awesome & I love him

This, I already knew. It bothers me that people have beef with his explosive personality. Richard Sherman is smart. He only says things he is able to back up.


Last night Pierre Garcon pulled Richard Sherman to the ground by his hair & well, that didn’t make Mr. Sherman very happy. He proceeded to tell cameras during his post game interview that Garcon, “Doesn’t matter in this league.”

Garcon responded with:

[#TeamRichardSherman …I love Richard Sherman. That’s it.]

10.) Fun Twitter Fact:

After last night… I think I might be a Seahawks Fan.  

…I suppose there are worse things to be.

ONSIDE CHICK is over HERE to fulfill all your football needs!

…We will provide weekly updates on all teams, fantasy tips, and lessons for all you ladies who want to learn the play book…

Hang In There: Another NFL Off-Season Is Almost Behind Us

Most devoted NFL fans are able to agree that there’s pretty much only one upside to the end of a football season:

You mean there’s another day of weekend that is open for activities?

I hope you’ve enjoyed leaving the house on Sundays for the past few months…while you were out, here are some things that happened.

Free agency started out with 431 eligible players in March; the teams were given a salary cap of $133 Million – which is $10 Million more than the previous year. Many teams made adjustments to increase the space under their cap.

Cornerback, Darrelle Revis left the Tampa Bay Buccaneers & was welcomed by the New England Patriots. Wide Receivers, DeSean Jackson (Eagles to Redskins) & Steve Smith (Panthers to Ravens) both will be catching passes somewhere new & Defensive End, Jared Allen will be playing for his former rival The Chicago Bears after spending 6 seasons with the Minnesota Vikings. This one in particular hit home…& I blogged about it.

Who’s excited for some rookies?

The 2014 NFL Draft was held in New York City just as it has been since 1965 on May 8th through the 10th. It was later than usual this year due to a scheduling conflict at Radio City Music Hall.

The number one overall pick of the 2014 draft went to Defensive End Jadeveon Clowney from the University of South Carolina chosen by the Houston Texans; Clowney was 2012 Defensive Player of the Year. In the 7th round the St. Louis Rams welcomed the first openly gay player to be drafted into the NFL – Defensive End, Michael Sam.

The teams who walked away with some of the best draft grades include the Houston Texans, Jacksonville Jaguars & the Cleveland Browns. Speaking of the Browns – does anyone else feel pretty uncertain of Quarterback, Johnny Manziel? I certainly wouldn’t want my new rookie quarterback partying with Justin Bieber…but hey… that’s just me.

There are some new rules & regulations coming to the 2014 NFL this season.

  • When defensive fouls occur this year – the next play will resume from it’s previous, original position rather than the place of the foul.
  • Since 1974 the goal post has been 30 feet high, this will be risen to 35 feet.
  • Also, in regards to the goal post, thanks to New Orleans Saint Tight-End, Jimmy Graham – any player who chooses to celebrate with the goal post will be penalized 15 yards. Last year, Graham bent a goal post while celebrating a touchdown against the Atlanta Falcons in week 12.
  • Because of few disputed replay reviews last year, referee’s will be able to communicate with the command center during replay reviews this year.

There are 6 Sunday’s remaining before the start of a new season, where hopes can be high for everyone; every team starts out undefeated.

Households will have the aroma of charcoal, beer & brats by ten o’clock in the morning. Football families* will be walking through front doors – proudly covered in their team’s attire. High fives will be had by many.

The 95th season of the National Football League kicks off this year when The Superbowl champions, the Seattle Seahawks host the Green Bay Packers on Thursday September 4, 2014

*Football Families: People that come over every Sunday, who never knock & always bring food.


Bad News Bears

I fully understand that the National Football League is a business. It revolves around money – just like the rest of the world.

With that being said, I cannot believe Jared Allen signed with the Chicago Bears.

The Chicago Bears?! Really, Jared?! C’mon…I can’t buy a Bears jersey!

Jared Allen signing a 4 year deal with the Chicago Bears is comparative to if my husband cheated on me with my trashy cousin (I do not have any trashy cousins…but, if I did).

I knew he was a free agent. I knew the chances of Him staying a Minnesota Viking were slim to none – but, I was not prepared for this. There was zero chit chat about Him being in contact with the Chicago Bears. None. I don’t like unexpected news – especially so early in the morning; especially when its news that I don’t like.

Ahhh, what a beauuuutiful day – already Wednesday…it’s going to be a great……….wait………..what?


Jared Allen is a Chicago Bear. If not the entire day, at minimum my morning & early afternoon are shot.

I feel like he just broke up with me; He gave me the – It’s not you it’s me speech & in this hypothetical breakup we are trying to work out, I agreed. It’s Him.

This was us - when we were happy.
This was us – when we were happy.

Ideally, He would have gone to Seattle – I was prepared for that. I was ready to purchase a Seattle Seahawks Jared Allen jersey. I recently stomached watching three former Minnesota Vikings get super bowl rings there; I would have understood.

Jared…I thought you wanted a Championship?

The Chicago Bears made a good move (for their organization). Replacing Julius Peppers with Jared Allen – it makes sense. That’s the only positive thing I will say. It’s not positive for me – because I will never cheer for the Bears.


The sad reality is this. I can no longer be a fan of Jared Allen – the football player.

There will always be a special place in my heart for Jared Allen – the person. I hope Chicago Bears Fans appreciate the talent they just received & that He is treated kind. I wish nothing but the best (except wins) for my favorite former favorite football player.

Who is going to replace him? Who is going to be my favorite? …I just don’t know. 😦

For now, I will commit to saying that my favorite Minnesota Viking is Mike Zimmer.

Footnote: Originally, I planned on writing an open letter. But, I don’t currently feel like speaking to Him. If any of you see or converse with Mr. Allen, please mention that I’ll be okay.