More Importantly: Why was Dez Bryant at Walmart?

I guess Dez Bryant did something 5 times worse than Ray Rice…and it was also captured on video.

[Schefter confirms rumor of Dez Bryant video]

What are the odds, really? Whatever it was, it supposedly happened at Walmart. What is 5 times worse? Whose opinion is that? I am going to chalk it up to a generalized statement that can be summed up with:

He did something pretty #ucking bad

And that is where I will leave it, until I see it.

I am more concerned with why Dez Bryant was at Walmart, if I’m being honest. Doesn’t he have people who can go to Walmart for him, if that’s where he chooses to purchase goods? I understand their great prices, but I’m not rich & I still prefer Target.

There is an entire website dedicated to people who shop at Walmart. These are the things that happen at Walmart:

ball-fail-walmart gif-walmart-pumpkin-fail walmart-ball-pit-gif

THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN AT TARGET.

Also….

You cannot get a Venti Medium Roast Coffee while strolling through Walmart & if you could, it would probably get knocked outta your hand by someone that’s not paying attention.

I just don’t get it. Why would anyone… especially someone with a plethora of money choose to spend their time in that dimly lit, over congested….

I’ll just stop there.

Negative 20 Degrees? No Big Deal.

Will someone please start a petition for us folks over here in the tundra? I would, but… it seems like it could be a lot of work.

[via: eatpraywod.blogspot.com]
[via: eatpraywod.blogspot.com]
When it feels like -20 degrees, we should have the right to stay in the houses we’re paying to heat. If the weather man is acknowledging that the air… outside my [heated] house has potential to cause hypothermia – I do not care if the actual temperature is 3 degrees.

If you pay for short-term disability, I suggest you talk to your employer about utilizing that.

I’m thinking about trying to get a doctor’s note or something; it’s causing me pain. Leaving anywhere to go anywhere, when it’s this cold requires a pep talk…

It’s not that cold.    

[That’s it.]

Swing the door open, instantly my face hurts. My eyeballs attempt to adapt to the frigid

Me: If I was William H. Macy [via: giphy.com]
breeze & my cheeks are burning. The next thing that happens? Every single particle of warmness is sucked out of my body, throwing my lungs into shock. It never fails; I gasp like I just got sucker-punched. I love the relief of seeing the vehicle I’m quickly trekking to

…so I can get inside, where it’s ALSO FREEZING

My lower back starts to cramp up from hunching over like a little old lady; shivering just to make my blood move around. If I’m getting sore – please tell me I’m burning some serious calories in the process. Don’t even get me started talking about if I forget to empty my bladder before getting slapped with the -20 degrees; it’s like… an instant emergency.

I hate seeing people run outside when it’s like this. I will admit, I may be ignorant about winter running and this is coming from pure jealousy of the motivation, but…

Seriously… stop it. You can take a day off. 

I have dreams nightmares – if I don’t run into Target fast enough, my nose falls off from pure coldness & nothing more; slides right off. Does anyone in Alabama wake up to that?!

My Resting Bitch Face Sister: Kristen Stewart, Says…No. [Via: giphy.com]
They don’t. Why do I live here?