A Year’s Worth of Properly Ridiculous

One year ago I signed up for WordPress & published my first post 6 days later.

In this span of time, I’ve managed to convince 683 people to keep an eye on it. I watched that number go up and down quite a bit – depending on what was being ranted, raved or praised. I’ve monitored the traffic behind it all, almost to a fault.

I’ve watched my writing progress & change. I’ve explored different styles; wrote my very first fiction & followed with a few more.  I attempted to make sense of crazy trials, news stories, missing planes, made my fear of Ebola known & told a whole-lotta people to STFU.

I struggled through my ridiculous anxiety, and learned how to curb it. Later in the year, listened to an audio book that rocked my socks off & told everyone to just go out and follow your own arrow. I Attempted to explain resting bitch face … In turn, I was kinda bitchy about smoking & littering.

I’ve documented my son growing up, his continuing crush on the Tooth Fairy … & when he tried to plunge the toilet with a towel. Yeah, It Happened. I’m so happy it’s written down & saved for his future girlfriends.

Since I’m obviously a professional, I shared the wealth of knowledge and told you how to raise your kids also.

I made my love for football well known. Wrote a few open letters to Jared Allen & Brett Favre. Stuck up for Adrian Peterson & Ray Rice, called out ignorant football fans & directly told the entire NFL to get it together.

I turned thirty and intentionally have not changed my About Me page to reflect that; Properly Ridiculous will forever be, pushing 30. It’s been a good year & next will be better.

Thank you, 683 people who validate my lack of a filter.

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The Tooth Fairy Gives Cash Bonuses For Pain & Bad Decisions

With his tone mocking that of an angry teenager, Bennett says…

“I am not going to bed tonight with this tooth in my mouth!”

So where do we go from here?  …The obvious of course.

We decide we will tie a string to that little tooth & secure the other end to our pantry door in the kitchen. Brandin went downstairs to collect the materials. (String.)

We had some pretty great expectations for what was about to happen – all of us. ‘Had’ being the key word. How silly and naive for us to believe that it would go exactly as planned.

Attempt #1: WHAM! The string flies off the tooth.

Attempt #2: WHAM! Bennett is still attached to the door. Bennett, you can’t jump forward with the door. 

Before we attempt a 3rd time we have a small family discussion. The result was that Bennett was still all in.

We gave him the chance to back out…please remember that as you read on.

Attempt #3: WHAM! Again, the string flies off the tooth.

Brandin gets down on his knees and re-ties the string to Bennett’s tooth. This time a tiny little piece of Bennett’s gums get stuck in the knot of the string & It starts to bleed; There is absolutely no way to untie the string.

Frantic is the perfect word to explain Bennett’s demeanor once he felt the pinch & saw the blood.

Fun Fact: I was videotaping this entire ordeal – which is what it had become. It was no longer funny. It was no longer cute…it was a messy ordeal.

There was this moment I was watching the screen on my camcorder, tears are streaming down his cheeks at a rather rapid rate & I realize…

This is getting weird.

That’s when I put the camcorder down.

Brandin gets back down on his knees, face-to-face with our bloody mouthed son to evaluate the situation we were dealing with.  I resorted to the corner of the kitchen, trying to keep my dinner down. In case I didn’t mention it sooner – I don’t handle the whole “teeth pulling” scenario very well.

I don’t typically have a weak stomach, but there is just something about pulling a tooth and leaving a bloody hole that doesn’t agree with me.

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!

From the corner I hear, “I don’t know Bud – Mom is going to have to take care of it.”

Pull it together Jen…

I’m not sure what came over me – but I went into full-blown “Mama-Beast-Mode”. There were no other options; I had to get that tooth out.

This had to end.

I marched over there & looked directly into my son’s eyes, gave him (and myself) an encouraging smirk…(I tried to smile, but that also didn’t go as planned) and I plucked his tooth out.

String still attached, dinner still in my stomach.

Success!   

That night, the tooth fairy was generous; apparently there is a cash bonus for pain & bad decisions.